


Haunted

by sugakookies_with_tae



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Dark, Ghosts, M/M, Paranormal, Revenge, Time Travel, a hella lot of unrequited love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2018-12-19 01:15:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11886825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugakookies_with_tae/pseuds/sugakookies_with_tae
Summary: When Kyungsoo decided to escape the cold for a night in an old hotel, he was not asking to be visited by a ghost and forced to wreak vengeance on his killer. But fate had a way of not working as Kyungsoo planned, and Kai never listens to pleading.Kai whisks Kyungsoo into the past, where he instructs him to kill a man named Sehun. But Sehun is too young, too innocent - can Kyungsoo possibly kill him? Or would his fear of Kai drive him to it in the end?Or, perhaps, his love for Kim Jongin?





	1. Chapter 1

When Kyungsoo was about ten, he'd asked about ghosts.

"Mom," he said seriously, his eyes round, "do ghosts exist?"

It was not, perhaps, a completely uncanny question. Every child wondered about the supernatural from time to time, and Mrs. Do knew that. She was tempted to laugh it away, to make a joke out of it; but then she caught the look on Kyungsoo's face and stopped.

It was an  _old_  look, one of pure curiosity but also fear and  _understanding_. In an instant, she knew that Kyungsoo was utterly serious about apparitions, that he'd felt something akin to them and, heaven forbid, maybe even  _seen_  one. Mrs. Do knew absolutely nothing about ghosts besides what was told in the average ghost story, but she stopped washing the dishes to give a solemn look back to her son.

"Kyungsoo," she replied, "why do you want to know?"

"I feel cold winds sometimes," said Kyungsoo earnestly, "even on hot days. That's all."

Mrs. Do couldn't stop herself.

"Oh, Soo honey," she laughed gently, "the dead are dead. When you're dead, you stop thinking. How would a ghost exist if they can't think? Stop reading so many storybooks and go out to play. I guarantee that there are no ghosts."

Kyungsoo only gave her a look - a look that shot an icy arrow at her heart and made her second-guess herself for a second. In many ways, she supposed, Kyungsoo was far older than ten. He devoured novels, went on long walks by himself, refused to play with the other children. It wasn't that he had no friends, but he had few and not a single close one. And yet, he never seemed discontented. Neither did he ever get lost on his wanderings, and Mrs. Do tried not to worry about him. Kyungsoo didn't like too much affection.

It wasn't autism. It wasn't Asperger's. It was just... Kyungsoo.

 

 _It's an old house,_  Kyungsoo thought as he drove up the short lane leading to the Three Inns hotel.  Kyungsoo had always been perceptive, and the brightly lit windows and new paint coat did nothing to hide the aura of age that pervaded the building.

He didn't mind much at all, glad that he could get one night of comfort and heat for a relatively cheap price. Anything would be better than the past five hours of maneuvering through sleet and snow in a ratty old car, heatless because he couldn't afford to waste gas. Yes, as Kyungsoo often admitted to himself with a bitter laugh, he was sadly broke. What else was new?

Normally the drive back home from his university took only six hours, but the less-than-ideal weather and the abominable traffic it caused hat delayed him to such an extent that he was only two-thirds of the way. With no intention of risking his neck with the darkness and ice, Kyungsoo decided it would be best to stay a night at some little side motel he found online. It would mean  _heat_ , if nothing else.

The wind picked up, whirling the snow in front of his windshield at a dizzying pace. Kyungsoo felt himself feeling almost hypnotized by the swirl.  _It's beautiful_ , he thought.  _Beautiful, but so, so cold. Almost - like a ghost._

Ghosts - the thought of it had haunted him, ever since childhood. After the time he'd asked his mother, he'd never bothered talking about it to anyone ever again, knowing that he'd get a similar response. He'd never truly seen a ghost and he didn't want to; but he'd always felt that they were real, only hovering besides a curtain that could lift at any moment and reveal a frightening spectre to unbelieving eyes.

Brushing away the thought lest it make him even more scared than he already was, he parked his car and exited, taking with him only a small pack. He'd sleep in his clothes and skip brushing his teeth for a night. Nobody was here to care.

No valet took his backpack for him, no bellboy stood attentively at the door; not that Kyungsoo cared. Shivering from the icy wind, he locked his car quickly and ran up the flight of stairs, eager to escape from the cold to warmth and light-

-and silence.

It was an uncommonly quiet lobby. Though the motel was not guestless, Kyungsoo having seen several other cars parked in the driveway, it certainly did seem to be thoroughly asleep. Kyungsoo didn't see a single attendant, bellboy, or janitor; and he almost would have missed seeing the registrar had it not been for a dry "Ehem."

"Excuse me, ma'am," answered Kyungsoo politely, noticing the cold gray statue of a woman behind the front desk. "I-I was admiring the architecture."

The registrar responded with silence. With a sigh, Kyungsoo walked towards her, pulling out his wallet.

Behind him, a strong gust of wind blew the door open. For a split second, it hung in mid-air; before swinging back shut again with a bone-jarring  _BANG!_

Kyungsoo had the odd feeling that it was locking him in.

 

"So you like the architecture?"

Kyungsoo smiled shyly at the bellboy - or rather, bellwoman, as the person who took his bag was a stout middle-aged woman named Chaeyoung who had worked at the hotel for the past ten years. She was decidedly chatty, which he could understand; there probably weren't a lot of guests for her to talk to so she overwhelmed each one with conversation. Kyungsoo himself had never been much of a talker, so he only nodded quietly in response to her question.

"It's kind of you to notice it," grinned Chaeyoung. "There's not many houses like this one nowadays. It used to be a private residence, you know. It belonged to the Oh family for years before we took over."

"Cool," said Kyungsoo politely.

"Let me think. This house is about seventy... maybe eighty years old? Built during the Japanese colonial rule, you know. It was one of the first homes to be built in the Euro-American style, though quite extravagant for its time. The Oh family was renowned for their good taste. Parties,  jewelry... you know? They've kind of faded out of the picture now, but for years they were the most important family in this part of Korea."

"And you bought the house from them?" asked Kyungsoo, thinking that he'd better keep up his end of the conversation.

"Well, the hotel manager did, of course," said Chaeyoung nonchalantly. "He was an outsider, that's why he bought this house. If he'd lived here for a while he might have not. Bad situation, kind of off the road, y'know? And there's the whole murder mess that was never cleared up, thirty years ago..."

"Murder?" Kyungsoo yelped.

Chaeyoung nodded seriously. "Yes, murder, though the culprit was never caught. It's a bit of an odd story... here, you've reached your room now."

"Thanks," said Kyungsoo, taking his bag absently. "Wait, stay a while... did you say  _murder?_ "

Chaeyoung plopped down on a chair with a wide smile, probably happy for more talk. "It all happened when I was a kid and you didn't exist, young man," she said, in the way grandmothers gossiped about auld-lang-syne's. "And, funny to say, it didn't create much of a stir when it did. The Oh's kind of hushed it up... I told you they were influential. They didn't want bad publicity on their house. There was something about their son Oh Sehun in it as well, but the rights of that were never sorted out."

Kyungsoo gulped. He suddenly wished that he had not set Chaeyoung on this path of cheerful remembrances, but the woman was barreling full steam ahead and he saw no way of stopping her.

He knew he would, if it was possible. He didn't need anymore paranoia about ghosts, and this old, out-of-the way hotel seemed like a perfect breeding place. Hopefully whoever was murdered would sleep peacefully and not come to disturb Kyungsoo that night-

"The victim was a young man named Kim Jongin," said Chaeyoung, rubbing her chin. "I don't remember him all too well, but he had a pretty good reputation. Nice, upstanding citizen; that kind of person everyone likes, y'know? He was handsome, too, apparently. I only saw him once or twice but he had a name as every girl's crush."

"Back then, Korea was loosening up. Everyone was relaxing, having fun. Pity's you weren't born back then, it really was the golden age. Anyways, back to this young fellow, Kim Jongin - he was a good friend of, well, everyone, but especially Oh Sehun. The two of them were notorious as the 'liberals' of this old sleepy town. Americanized like crazy, both of 'em. Them and their little friends, always horsing around, partying fit to kill, unlike anything seen before. But in spite of all that, everyone liked them-"

"You told me that already," Kyungsoo interrupted.

Chaeyoung grinned. "So I did. I have a habit of running on, sorry. Ahh, Jongin and Sehun... they were always together. They joined the military together as well, but somehow Jongin was found to be a homosexual and discharged, and Sehun had to go on alone."

"Discharged?"

"Dishonorably, at that. You can imagine the stir it made." Chaeyoung chuckled a little, although guiltily. "The Kims were afraid to show their face. Perhaps they regretted letting their son Americanize so much. Whatever the case, Jongin was thrown out of his house into the streets. He managed for a while, streetdancing in the city, and eventually Sehun came back for him."

"You certainly know an awful lot about this," said Kyungsoo nervously. He knew that he took things too seriously; something that happened in the eighties couldn't possibly affect him now, right? All the same, he gave a little shiver thinking about the inevitable. The mournful, whistling wind and oppressive darkness just outside the window made him feel even edgier.

Apparently, Chaeyoung had no such thoughts. "Ahh, Jongin and Sehun. Friends with benefits. Sehun convinced him to come back to this sleepy little town, and found some old flat for him to live in. He was filthy rich, like all the Oh's." Kyungsoo nodded dumbly. He had a gut feeling of what happened, but refused to voice the words. "Sehun and Jongin and their little group of friends continued to saunter around. They made some protests, had all the fun that the young people of the time liked. And then-"

Chaeyoung leaned forward, whispering breathlessly.  _She has a gift for storytelling_ , Kyungsoo thought.  _I wish she didn't choose to use it now._

"Sehun invited Jongin to a party. Jongin was still rather dishonored at that time, although girls were starting to overlook that fact in the hopes that they could make him straight again." Chaeyoung scoffed at this, pausing for a moment. "Anyways, the Ohs were furious. They wanted no faggot in their house. But Sehun ignored every single word and invited Jongin anyways."

"Everyone was drunk, and high, and having sex. Sehun hosted a night of hell, from what I heard. At first, Jongin was swamped by about a million girls all asking for hookups. But then he disappeared. He was found the next morning in the attic with a telephone cord wrapped around his throat, stark naked with blood running down his thighs."

Kyungsoo shuddered. The thought of a vivid young life squeezed out with a telephone cord was too much for him to handle. He never understood how people could take death so lightly. After all, one moment they were breathing and thinking; the next moment they were - not. How? How could it happen?

Suddenly, a realization hit him.

"Th-this room... it's i-in the attic, right?"

Chaeyoung squealed with pleasure, totally ignorant of Kyungsoo's obvious fear. "You caught on! Yes, exactly right. Don't worry, the floor's not gonna drop under you, if that's what you're worrying about."

Kyungsoo tried to stop his mind from spinning out of control, putting a hand to his temple. "T-thanks, Chaeyoung," he said, mentally cursing himself for his stutter. "I enjoyed that story. Is-is there any hot water nearby?"

Chaeyoung nodded. "I'll bring you a cup of water," she smiled at him. "You're a nice young man, you know that- what's your name again?"

"Do Kyungsoo."

"Well, Kyungsoo, you're certainly a nice young man. I enjoyed talking to you." Still chatting animatedly, she went to the small teakettle in the kitchenette and poured some water inside, turning up the heat. "It's rare that people come to this hotel now. It's never been a popular place in all the ten years that I've worked here, and now visitors are becoming even scarcer. We might have to close down soon, it's so lifeless. Anyways, I always enjoy talking to nice young men. I wonder if Jongin would have been as nice as you."

Kyungsoo sighed, watching her move about resignedly. He knew that it would be impossible to keep Chaeyoung from the story, though he gave it a shot.

"D-do you have to keep talking about that?"

"Aww, little Kyungsoo afraid of ghosts, aren't you?" giggled Chaeyoung. Kyungsoo said nothing, feeling his cheeks grow hot at the words. But then Chaeyoung came over, ruffling his hair like a mother.

"Never mind about poor Kim Jongin, Kyungsoo," she said. "If the rumors were true, he was a nice man. I got all that information second-hand, you know. Old Chaeyoung was little ten-year-old Chaeyoung then, with her mind on school and girl trouble. I didn't hear of the murder until two days later. Then I heard an awful lot about it, you know? It's a big crime for a small town. And crime so cracked-down on! It's a wonder the murderer was never caught. A lot of people wanted him to be, you know. Girls full-on  _sobbed_  when they heard about the murder. Others didn't care. Said it was Jongin's fault for being such a faggot. What a stir it created! The topic of the dinner table for months! I got rather tired of hearing about it all after just a week. Now, Kyungsoo, if there  _is_  a ghost, it's never been heard of. Sure, the Oh's could hardly stand to live in the house again... but that was more of wounded pride than of haunts. The reason why this house is unpopular is because of bad publicity from the whole affair, not what happened after it. No ghost has ever been recorded here, and you're certainly not the first person to sleep in this room or the attic. But- if Jongin comes to haunt you, remember that he's handsome. You won't be frightened by his  _looks_ , if anything."

 _Absolutely, impossibly dense, this woman_ , thought Kyungsoo, but he couldn't put much emphasis into his mind-words from fear. His mind was racing now, Chaeyoung's words and his childhood feelings mixing into one big mess of a mind. He would have hated her, thrown her out, if he was capable of hating at all. Chaeyoung was just a big sensible baby after all, with no second thought about ghosts and the supernatural. But - Kyungsoo  _felt_. It was as though all his ghostly life was coming up to face him.

Oh, damn it all! He shakily thanked Chaeyoung for his cup of water, managing to sneak the words in between all the woman's prattling. She was  _much_  more than a bellboy. It was with a sigh of relief that he watched her leave - until he realized that, once she was gone, he was alone.

In the attic!

With a fucking ghost!

Of course, if Jongin's ghost was still lingering around after thirty years, it hadn't yet showed itself to Kyungsoo. But perhaps that was only because of the light that still shone brightly from the lamp hanging in the center of the room. It was cliche as hell, Kyungsoo knew, to suppose that ghosts only came after dark. Hadn't he had a good lot of those 'cold winds' in the bright summer sunlight, all those years ago? All the same, he decided to keep the light on for as long as possible. Jongin had  _better_ stay away.

He brushed his teeth. He stood warming himself in front of the heater. He took a shower, though for the first minute he hardly dared near the shower nozzle, afraid that some thin gray wisp would float out of it.

Nothing did.

Feeling slightly bolder, Kyungsoo stepped out without hesitation, drying himself and throwing on his shirt again. He gave another shudder when he remembered that  _Jongin had been found naked in the attic with blood on his thighs_ , but, with a few deep breaths, managed to dispel the thought.

Jongin was not going to come back and haunt him. Not if he could help it.

_I'm not the first one to sleep in this room._

All the same, he considered pulling on his pants, even though he hated sleeping with pants on. He couldn't help thinking that  _perhaps Jongin is still here. Perhaps he's seen me naked. i would never know - after all, ghosts live behind a screen, right?_

Oh god. Embarrassed by a ghost.

Kyungsoo shut his eyes, wished with all his might that the mental demons that had accompanied him since childhood would leave him now, would give him peace. For he'd never had peace, even as a kid. His mother probably thought him a most uncanny child, the way he would often walk alone, sometimes gone all afternoon. But Kyungsoo had never been part of the noisy crowd of kids that had played up and down his streets. He'd wished that he could join them, but it always proved impossible. His demons would never let him.

_Now's the time to leave. Now's the time to stop making me miserable._

He opened his eyes. He felt calmer.

_There's no ghost._

On a burst of courage, he switched off the light before crashing into bed.

 

_Darkness._

Oppressive, heavy darkness, the type that pressed around him and invaded his brain. The kind that didn't lighten when his eyes grew accustomed to it.

Kyungsoo hadn't noticed before how utterly dark the storm had made the sky. But now he remembered the thick heavy clouds blanketing the moon and sparse stars. A blanket of blackness, spreading over him.

Shivers began to creep up his arms, a feeling of claustrophobia beginning to spread through him. Even though the room was big, Kyungsoo felt as though the space around him was shrinking. There was no more air; he was choking, stifling - dying!

He wished that he hadn't turned off the light, but he was too scared to get up and turn it on again, childhood superstitions about monsters under the bed coming back to him. Anything could reach out and grab at him. He scrunched up further under the covers, letting the blanket block out the ghosts that pawed at him, that reached for him.

Fuck his wishes. His mental demons never listened to him anyways.

Anything could happen. Anything could touch him. Anything could come out of the darkness now, to haunt him, to control him-

 

"Do Kyungsoo."

Kyungsoo yelped, waking from some fitful half-sleep that gave him no rest. For a moment he kept his eyes shut, willing it to be daylight, willing eternity to be over.

"Kyungsoo, wake up."

A cold hand on his shoulder.

Shaking with raw terror, Kyungsoo slowly opened his eyes. His mouth moved unwillingly, refusing to admit it was real. It couldn't be real. It couldn't!

"A-are you Kim Jongin?"

A hiss.

"I'm not Kim Jongin, Do Kyungsoo. I am Kai."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first time posting on ao3, woo!


	2. Chapter 2

_He_ is _handsome._

Chaeyoung had certainly been right on that point. Kyungsoo hadn't thought that this would be the first words that ran through his mind when he saw Jongin's ghost. But the moment he'd laid eyes on him, he'd been too awed to even be afraid. Of course, death had paled him, given him the 'ghostliness' that was customary of movies - but no movie ghost could ever compare.

Jongin - no,  _Kai_  - was tall and tanned, with dark eyes and dark hair and a certain  _glow_  that shone behind him, giving him an excited air, a buzz of energy that aroused people. He was muscled but also graceful, with the figure of a dancer; and, though he was decently clothed (thank goodness; Kyungsoo had been afraid that he'd see him the way he died, naked with blood on his thighs) Kyungsoo could tell that the word girls would use for him would be 'sexy'.

He had a moment to register all that before the panic set in.

"K-Kai then? Why are y-you here? W-what do you want from m-me?"

Kai smiled; a slow, horrible smile that somehow still didn't take away from his handsomeness. "I've been waiting a long time, Kyungsoo."

"W-waiting for wh-wh-"

"You. I thought that was quite simple." Kai's drawl was a mix between a heavenly voice and a horrible tone. Kyungsoo sat up abruptly, backing up, trying to get away from this white wraith, this shadowed soul. It didn't matter how handsome Kai was; he was dead. Dead!

Just as Kyungsoo's head hit the top of the headboard with a crack of splitting pain, Kai reached out and grabbed his arm, holding it with an iron grip. The hand was solid, but so, so cold; colder than winter. It made Kyungsoo's whole body feel cold.

"Ow- aah!" Kyungsoo yelped. Immediately he grabbed at Kai's hand, trying to pry the fingers off his arms. "St-stop! Kai! Please, please let me go!"

But the fingers wouldn't budge, cold and strong as a metal clamp. Kai didn't care. Pleadings mattered nothing to him. After all, he was a ghost, and while perhaps not emotionless, weaker emotions like pity were numbed.

Although Kyungsoo had always been haunted by cold winds and mental demons, this was the first time he'd seen a  _real_  ghost, and it terrified him. He could not feel any emotion besides pure fear, fear as he had never felt before. The little chills that he'd gotten from the 'cold winds', the dread of crashing on the ice during the long cold drive, even the terror he'd felt earlier that night when he'd just closed the lights - all that paled before Kai. Cold, pitiless Kai, only a shadow of the once living and joyous Kim Jongin of thirty years ago - it all horrified Kyungsoo.

"Leave me alone! Kai, I beg of you, I'm innocent. I-I can't go with you! Please, please let me go." Kyungsoo was sobbing, not even bothering to wipe his tears, his free hand so busy with trying to wrench Kai's grip off of him.

He wasn't even sure Kai heard him. When he looked back up at the ghost's face, he saw not an inch of change. It was the same dark, handsome face, cold and unwavering. Kai tightened his grip ever so slightly and pulled Kyungsoo towards him.

"You're coming with me," said Kai impassively, staring into Kyungsoo's eyes as if trying to pry him apart. "I need your help."

"S-so many people have slept in this r-room," Kyungsoo pleaded, still trying vainly to pull Kai's fingers off his arm. "W-why me?"

"None of them were right," said Kai. "Blundering idiots. Too old or too young or too stupid - and besides, there's only one  _you_ , Kyungsoo, and only Kyungsoo could do the job. I'm not insane, you know. I wouldn't go bother random innocent people just for the fun of it. I don't  _haunt_ , Kyungsoo, I  _do_."

"B-but- I'm innocent!" Kyungsoo screamed. "I know you were murdered thirty years ago, Kai, but I swear I had nothing to do with it! I wasn't even  _born_  back then-"

"Fool." Kyungsoo felt himself yanked forward until his face was only a foot away from Kai's. If Kai was... normal... he would have been feeling his hot, agitated breath; as it was, he only felt more icy air, chilling him to the bone. "I know your innocence, Do Kyungsoo. That's not the point. The point is that  _you_  are going to help me - and  _only_  you. And if you don't-"

Kai left the sentence unfinished, watching Kyungsoo cringe and turn away. His fingers were still scrabbling away uselessly at Kai's hand, but it was subdued now; a habit instead of a hope. With a smirk, Kai let go all at once, letting Kyungsoo fall on the floor in surprise.

Kyungsoo lay still, wishing for the night to be over; or, if that was impossible, the least fate could do would be to kill him, so he wouldn't have to see Kai again. But none of that happened. Kai leaned over the bed, smiling down at him, his smooth hair hanging over his face. Kyungsoo's breath hitched in fear; but he also realized yet again how utterly  _handsome_  Kai was.

It wasn't fair. Kyungsoo would have liked it more if Kai was a shapeless mass of air than this beautiful man. For every time he looked at Kai, he was reminded of all that could have and should have happened; and it made him even harder to face, knowing that it was all yanked away from him.

Chaeyoung was wrong, too. Kai's handsomeness didn't console him. It was haunting him just as much as the actual ghost.

"Get up, Kyungsoo," said Kai teasingly. "Get up, come with me. I want to take you on an adventure."

"I- please, Kai, no," Kyungsoo murmured; but it was hopeless, and he knew it. He tried to move away on the floor but gave up after just a foot. Kai moved lithely over to his side - he was as graceful as he looked - and hauled Kyungsoo up gently by the shoulders.

Somehow, the softness of his touch frightened Kyungsoo even more than the cold hard grip. It was like snow brushing his shoulders. Goosebumps prickled his arms and tears stung his eyes.  _Why did I ever come here?_

"Do you know what happened to me, Kyungsoo?"

Kyungsoo nodded - and then shook his head. "Y-you were murdered... but nobody knows how... or by whom..."

Kai sneered with disgust. "I know. He never got caught. He never got punished. He never got what he deserved." The hands tightened again. "I hate him. I've hated him for thirty years. I've thirsted to see him die in the agony he put me through - and he's still a happy duckling!"

Kyungsoo felt himself being flung across the room, hitting the wall hard. The coldness fell off, revealing raw, burning anger. Kyungsoo put his hands up to shield himself from the force of it; but Kai came over again, taking his hands with cold gentleness once more.

"Are you scared, Kyungsoo?" asked Kai, his voice like the snow whirling outside the window. "I'm not sorry. You're only feeling a fraction of what I felt that night of the party. And I think it's time for someone to know the truth."

"Please... I... " But the voice was weak, with no more fight or hope in it. Kyungsoo knew that it was impossible to stop Kai from doing what he wanted. There was no more hope of escape; he could only shut his eyes and pray that it would be quick.

Knowing Kai, it probably wouldn't be.

"I was twenty-two," Kai began slowly. "That's kind of young, isn't it? And I was very active. 'Americanized', they called me. Oh yes, I heard that Chaeyoung woman talking about me to you this evening. I'm always around, no matter what."

"Well, you know that Sehun and I were 'good friends', and, if you have any sense, you've probably figured that we were a little more than that. But here's this-" and Kai leaned forward, his breath cold enough to make frostbite- "we were in love."

Kyungsoo's heart was hammering, and Kai seemed to hear it with pleasure. He gave a short chuckle before sitting down next to Kyungsoo, and Kyungsoo didn't know if he was shivering from cold or from fear.

"In love. Oh yes, so deeply in love, Kyungsoo. Korea was never liberal, wasn't it? and back then, it was worse than it was now. But Sehunnie and I never gave a damn. We confessed our love to each other when we were nineteen. It was the whole reason we joined the military together; we could not bear to be apart."

"A perfect love story, the kind you saw in movies, just gay." Kai's laugh was bitter and quiet. "Only... it wasn't. You see, Sehunnie and I never did... that. There, I'll say it - we never had sex. We just weren't ready for it. Then I was found out to be gay, and kicked out of the army. Not that I'd ever liked it. You know about the dancing - and then Sehun came back to me."

"I lived in the little apartment he bought, and he practically lived there as well. He was never big with his parents. We knocked around with our friends for a while, but mostly keeping our relationship a secret, even from them. I'm not saying we didn't make out. We kissed whenever we had a spare moment; and believe me, Kyungsoo, every single one of those kisses were heaven on earth."

Kyungsoo stiffened, wishing that he could go deaf and stop listening, but of course that was impossible.

"Then he invited me to a party..." Kai, unlike a normal person, didn't pause to take a deep breath here. He merely steamrolled on ruthlessly, as if totally unfeeling of pain. "and when I got there, he told me to go up to the attic. He said he wanted to give me a  _surprise."_  Kai clenched his teeth before continuing. "I trusted him, even though he looked completely crazy, on more drugs than I'd ever seen him. I should've known better."

"And you came up to this room..." Kyungsoo whispered.

Kai gave a twisted smile. "Yeah. It was kinda dark, though not too much. Perfect settings, I suppose. I slurred for Sehunnie, and then he came up behind me and tackled me onto the bed. It was some ancient wooden relic and uncomfortable as hell, but I don't think he noticed. Sehunnie was totally stoned, and - not himself-"

Kai lay his fingers upon Kyungsoo's hand, and somehow the softneof his touch scared Kyungsoo just as much as the icy grip. He could feel his arm going numb, as though Kai was making some form of frostbite travel through his veins.

"-and he raped me."

With a gasp, Kyungsoo pulled away, terror wracking his body. His eyes could hardly focus and he shook violently, unable to process what he was hearing. He wanted this story to end, this nightmare to end. It  _had_  to be a nightmare, right?

But he wasn't waking up. He pinched his arms until he saw bruises, and he still wasn't waking up.

He flinched when he felt Kai's touch for the third time, and yet this time he couldn't draw away. Kai was pulling him in, capturing him, even without his iron grip. "Listen to me, Kyungsoo. Yes, my dear Sehunnie stripped me and utterly fucked me up. Kinda funny, how I was raped by the very person I'd always intended to have sex with. But the breaking of my virginity didn't happen as I'd intended it to. Sehun rammed into me, harder and faster than anything I'd ever seen on a pron site. You don't watch porn, do you, Kyungsoo? Too goody for that."

Kai hummed a little, a funny little drone in the air. "I'd never imagined I'd be a bottom. After all, I was older than Sehun, more of the initiative type. But somehow I just ended up on the bed, crying and begging for it to stop with cum and blood all over me, you know? It hurt, worse than anything I'd ever experienced or anything I will experience. Even the actual death - I don't think it was as bad as- as  _his_  fingers in me. And the worst part was that... it was supposed to be beautiful. I'd always imagined the day when we finally grew bold enough to have sex together... it was supposed to start out gentle, completely natural, us fitting into each other's grooves and fucking each other slowly, with the orgasm as an anticipated climax." Kai laughed loudly, enjoying the look of horror on Kyungsoo's face. "Hell, I'd even imagined shit about condoms and lube."

"S-stop... I don't want to know..."

With a little shush, Kai put a finger on Kyungsoo's mouth, stopping the words before they could come out. "There. You know about that. Then, when Sehun was done fucking me, which took at least two hours, he suddenly went into a rage. I would have called him possessed, but now I know that he was just a demon." Kai's voice suddenly lapsed into cold bitterness once more. Kyungsoo felt bewildered, the way the ghost would suddenly swing from hot passion to icy mercilessness, from harsh roughness to smooth, soft touches. "He yelled loud enough to shake the house if it were not already being shaken by all the ruckus down below. The partying was too loud for anyone to hear us, all the way up here, and anyways I doubt any of those drunks would've cared.  _I_  wouldn't have."

"Sehunnie was throwing things, smashing all the old household knick-knacks lying around, punching the walls. For the life of me I couldn't figure out whatever the fuck he was angry about. I don't think he was mad at me, exactly. Maybe just at the world for being a shitty place. I was in no condition to move, lying on the bed covered in blood and pain and shit, so I just watched him. Suddenly, he lunged at me again, and before I knew it I was on the floor and Sehunnie was sitting on top of me with some antique telephone cord in his hands and the he was wrapping it around my neck-"

"STOP IT!"

Kyungsoo plugged his ears with his fingers, unheeding of Kai's touch. If this dream couldn't end, at least he wouldn't hear anything, at least he'd stop Kai from telling his awful story in that horrid voice like he was enjoying Kyungsoo's reactions to the grim truth-

Again he felt Kai's hands on his, and he was getting sick of the coldness that spread through him whenever it happened. But this time, there was something different. 

 _"Stop! Please!"_ begged a voice in his head that was definitely Kai's, only filled with fear that sounded even worse than Kyungsoo's.  _"Aren't you done with me? Haven't you had your way? Please, please, Sehunnie-"_

 _"Shut up,"_ growled a new voice, and Kyungsoo broke out in cold sweat.  _"You're supposed to be quiet and compliant under me, Nini. You're ruining it all."_

 _"B-but you've already fucked me,"_  pleaded the Jongin in his mind.  _"Why are you doing this if you love me? Don't you love me, Sehunnie? Don't you LOVE ME?"_

Kyungsoo winced at what he was hearing and instinctively shut his eyes. Perhaps that was a bad decision, for slowly a blurry picture began to make itself beneath his eyelids. A dark room, shards of glass, drops of blood on the floor, a violent shock of blond hair... and two figures on the floor, one straddling the other and winding the telephone cord around his neck.

 _"You're so delicious, Nini,_ "moaned the figure with the blond hair. Kyungsoo couldn't make out any other part of him, just his hair and the way it seemed to be an eyesore, overly bright in the dim room.  _"I would gladly fuck you for the rest of our fucking lives, you know? Ahh, that was the best orgasm I'd ever had. You're such a cockslut, Nini, admit it."_

More cord went around the neck... sounds of choked gasps and ragged breaths filled the room, mixed with Sehun's moans... Kyungsoo looked at Jongin's naked body and realized that he was just as hot as he'd first supposed...  _why the hell am I thinking about that..._

 _"P-please..."_  whispered Jongin, in the same hopeless tone that Kyungsoo had used earlier. The similarity of the voices chilled Kyungsoo, but also made his heart ache with a sudden pity for the boy.  _"Sehunnie... please, please just let me go..."_

 _"No such luck."_  Sehun let out a harsh laugh, very much in the same manner that Kai had laughed.  _"I set out to gave you a surprise, Nini... well, don't you like it?"_

Jongin didn't answer. He only coughed, then attempted to take another breath; but it came out as a gasp and he flailed wildly as the cord tightened around his neck, as his lungs were cut off from the air. And Sehun laughed, long and loudly, the laugh of a maniac. And yet, Kyungsoo couldn't find it in himself to hate him. He had a feeling that Sehun wasn't usually like this, that this was the work of a possessed being rather than Jongin's lover.

Sehun pulled at the telephone cord, harder and harder, tighter and tighter, and Jongin's breath grew fainter and fainter... and suddenly, with a sharp yank, Jongin's breath hitched and his body twitched, and his breath was gone; and the only sounds Kyungsoo could hear were Sehun's harsh, heavy breathing and his maniacal laughter, and the distant sounds of party music coming from below...

Kai took his hands off of him, and Kyungsoo fell out of the vision, feeling dazed and cross-eyed. He'd forgotten all about his squeezed shut eyes and the fingers in his ears. Though the vision had been obscure, it was so hauntingly  _real_  and Kyungsoo knew that he would never be able to shake off the memory of it. Who could shake off a memory of that pleading voice, that demonic laugh, that sudden stopping of a person's breath?

"H-how?" he managed to stutter out.

Kai didn't even laugh this time. "Being with a ghost comes with several... ah... privileges, I guess. Not that it makes up for being alive." He paused for a moment, his silence bitter. "Well, do you get it now, Kyungsoo?

Kyungsoo didn't answer.

"Oh Sehun took away everything from me. He took away my fucking life, my fucking virginity, my fucking love. I fucking loved him so much, Kyungsoo! I gave him everything I had - I would've  _always_  given him everything I had - and he just took it away, dashed it to pieces, left me with  _this._ " Kai made a gesture of disgust at his body, and for the first time it occurred to Kyungsoo that it probably wasn't very fun being a ghost.

"S-so?" Kyungsoo didn't want to reply, but Kai's silence was agonizing, and the ghost had switched back to his 'angry' mode. His eyes were balls of fire and his 'skin' was warming up, which Kyungsoo had not thought was possible.

"So - we take revenge."

Kyungsoo took a step back. "No, Kai, no. Sehun... wasn't himself,  _you're_  not yourself, I'm not getting mixed up in some business that happened thirty years ago, and-"

"Listen!" Kai grabbed his arm again, and this time his fingers locked together, with no intention of letting Kyungsoo go. "I don't care. Sehun betrayed me and stole everything I had, and he went unpunished. You know what happened after he killed me? He went on to date another guy, and nobody suspected him of the crime. I was there, sitting in the shadows, watching for people to do  _something._  I was so eager to see him get what he deserved. And it never happened. He just moved out of this house with his little boyfriend and was never heard of again. But we're going to make sure that doesn't happen."

"What do you fucking want, Kai?" screamed Kyungsoo. "Just let me go! I shouldn't have anything to do with you and your little boyfriend! Go haunt him yourself, don't fucking bother me in the process!"

If Kai heard his words, he didn't give any sign that he did. He only dragged Kyungsoo to his feet roughly, leaving him completely disoriented and more panicked then he'd been even earlier that night. "You're coming with me, Kyungsoo."

"I'm - not!"

Kai's fingers were  _burning_ , searing into his arm and growing hotter the more Kyungsoo struggled. And he was struggling, fighting Kai with all the strength he had; but it wasn't enough, and Kyungsoo knew it. He'd been fighting a losing battle from the start.

And before he had time to utter another protest, the world began to spin around him just like the snow outside his window, and as it spun it began to vaporize, fading away before his eyes, and everything was confusion and whiteness and all he could feel was Kai's burning grip on his arm-

-and then everything stopped with a jerk and light flooded his eyes, and somehow Kyungsoo knew that they had gone back in time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love kaisoo with all my shipper heart


	3. Chapter 3

Kyungsoo was afraid to open his eyes.

Of course he knew that he was trapped in a grim reality and not a dream, that he would have no choice but eventually follow up on whatever Kai wanted him to do. But that didn't say that he had to acknowledge the fact just yet.

_It will go away, it will..._

Then he realized that Kai's hand was still gripping his arm tightly, though the searing heat had vanished. And Kai was saying  _wake up, Kyungsoo. Wake up, fight, and kill._

And he felt his eyes being forced open.

 _Welcome_ , said Kai, and Kyungsoo found that the ghost which had been so solid and real in his dark hotel room was now just a breath of cold air in some cloudy shape (that still looked unfairly hot) with a voice that was but a chilling whisper in his mind.  _It's been nine months since poor Kim Jongin-_  he spat his name out venomously-  _died mysteriously in Oh Sehun's little fling. I'll be your guide if you have any questions._  His tone was mocking, sarcastic, ugly. Kyungsoo flinched away from his touch, edging towards the sunlight.

Kai drifted towards him. He didn't vanish in the sunlight like a ghost was supposed to, although he did look paler.  _You can't escape me, Kyungsoo. Don't you know that already?_

 _At least you're not solid this time,_  Kyungsoo thought, wondering if Kai could hear him.

He could.  _I could, if I wanted to,_  Kai hissed.  _But it takes energy, appearing like that. I think I'll be comfortable just floating around you, Kyungsoo, or speaking into your brain. Just think, won't it be fun to be schizophrenic?_

Kyungsoo fought back his dismay, choking on nothing but air. Not even his thoughts would be his own, not if Kai could peer into his brain and read them like a book.  _I didn't know that being a ghost came with so many powers,_  he thought.  _Why don't you take on Sehun yourself if you can do all this shit?_

Kai didn't answer, but Kyungsoo could feel the cold anger radiating from the wraith that floated next to him. He was see-through now, like a 'real ghost', but his body was not of importance. Not if he could worm his way into Kyungsoo's thoughts and sit there like a fucking earworm.

 _Do you want to rest up?_ Kai teased.  _I mean, I'm not sleepy because ghosts don't need sleep after all, but after all you barely caught any z's last night so might feel a little off. Or maybe you should just go see Sehun first. Whatever floats your boat, Kyungsoo. Exercise your gift of decision while you can._

Doing his best to ignore Kai's voice, Kyungsoo started down the street, wondering what he was going to do now that he was stuck in the past. Thankfully he had on his real clothes, the sweater and jeans he'd worn the day before; it would have been fucking embarrassing if he'd been caught running around in nothing but his nightshirt and underwear. And he also had his wallet, which was tucked in his pocket; but other than that, he could be called dirt poor. After all, he had no bank account, no job, no home. No  _existence._

Fuck, that was scary. He was existence-less. What was he if he wasn't even born yet?

He shoved the questions to the back of his head. Now was not the time for philosophy.

In front of him was a small town, by which he meant  _really_  small - at least, that was the way it seemed to his city-bred eyes. It was mostly a smattering of brick houses with a store or two in between and a school. Kyungsoo supposed that most people were leaving for the cities by now. Personally, he welcomed the quiet. It was a welcome change from the constant noise of the city.

He felt slightly out of place in the quiet, sleepy old town - like an unwelcome streak of youth that came to intrude upon the peaceful rhythm of old women washing clothes and tea workers picking leaves in the fields. He wondered if Kai and Sehun had felt this way once upon a time. No wonder they had been called radicals.

 _You're right_ , said Kai suddenly, and Kyungsoo jumped.  _I wouldn't be surprised if Sehun's living in the city now. Seoul's not far away, you know. All our little friends live there._

 _Please stop scaring me, Kai_ , Kyungsoo whispered in his mind.  _You don't have to-_

 _Hey, it's not_ my _fault I'm a fucking ghost._

Kyungsoo didn't waste his mind power to argue.

"Hi," he said quietly, stepping into a general store that looked like nobody had bought anything from it in years. The dust lay thick in the corners and on the shelves, and the only person inside was a small, withered old man smoking a pipe. "I-I'm lost," he said lamely, not knowing what to say. How was he supposed to present himself in this town?

The old man looked at him sharply. "Not many young men like you come to visit our sleepy old town, sir - unless they're looking for Oh Sehun, of course. Are you looking for the city?" His voice was gruff with a heavy accent, and Kyungsoo could hardly make out the words.

"W-well..."

 _You're obviously looking for Oh Sehun, Kyungsoo,_  whispered Kai in his ear.  _Why not just tell the truth? This looks like a nice, unsuspecting old man._

"Cat got your tongue?"

Kyungsoo suddenly realized that though he could see Kai, the ghost was invisible to everyone else. So the old shopowner had only seen him staring into the air, with an intent expression that was focused upon no one. He must have looked like an idiot.

"N-no."

"You sure are nervous, aren't you?" the shopowner shrugged, taking in a sharp drag of smoke. "I thought you were asking for directions, but we could stay here for an hour if you continued stuttering like that."

Kyungsoo ducked his head, his cheeks coloring. He could hear Kai laughing, though it sounded low and distant.

"I want directions to-"

_To the Oh's house._

Kai put the words in his mouth. He knew that. He hated the way his mouth yielded without his consent, the way Kai took control from him. The moment Kai had found him alone in his room, he had been his slave, and he hated it. But he didn't know how to fight him, how to conquer his fear that bound him.

The shopowner blew out a ring of smoke and took his pipe out of his mouth. "That's not far. It's a wonder you haven't come 'cross it already, the way it basically looms over this whole town. That family has loved showing off since the dawn of time. I was there when the house was built, you know." Standing up jerkily, the old man walked over to the window, where he pointed at a rooftop that was just a little taller than the majestic trees that surrounded it. "There you go. Follow that path and you're bound to reach it."

"Thanks," Kyungsoo said quietly.

"You're a funny young man, you know?" growled the shopowner good-naturally. "Jittery. I wonder what business you've got with Oh Sehun. Nobody likes that house right now and I wouldn't recommend going there. Murder business."

Kyungsoo didn't bother to ask any further questions, not when Kai was breathing frigid air down his neck and whispering words into his mind. He already knew more than he needed to know. The old man looked disappointed as Kyungsoo left the shop, as though he was dying to retell the tale.

 _I won't force you to kill Sehun now,_  said Kai once Kyungsoo had started along the road.  _Oh no. That would take away the 'revenge' bit. You see, I want Sehun to like you._  The ghost giggled maliciously and Kyungsoo shuddered, shying his face away from him.  _Take your time, take your time, Kyungsoo. I'll be your guide in this strange world. Just promise me one thing._

_I don't want to make a promise-_

_It's not really a promise then, because you won't have a say in the matter. Do Kyungsoo, you will kill Oh Sehun before the anniversary of my death, three months from now. Until that time, you are free._

 

Kyungsoo didn't want to see Sehun. He didn't want to like him. He didn't want to get to know him at all.

But somehow he found himself trudging up the winding path that led to the huge Oh residence.

He recognized it somewhat from his drive the night before - or rather, the night thirty years into the future - although then it had been covered in snow and sleet and heavy darkness. Now everything was bathed in warm, bright sunlight, with a small hum of dragonflies and a smell of tea. But Kyungsoo hardly noticed it. To him it was still bleak and dark - everything was bleak and dark with a ghost around.

The huge house seemed more intimidating when it was private residence. As a hotel, it was a very small, second-grade affair; but the moment Kyungsoo realized that the three towering stories, thirty front steps, and four Grecian columns all belonged to one family his breath hitched in amazement. The grounds were fresh and well-kept and the paint job was new. Kyungsoo knew that only the very richest owned private homes like this, and he found it crazy that Kim Jongin the country boy had somehow wormed his way into the most elite circles.

He felt intimidated as he rang the doorbell, shuffling his feet and wondering what to say. Most likely a butler would answer the door, though it didn't matter who would as he knew what he was going to say. He was going to ask for directions to Seoul, pretending to be lost (well, he really was rather lost, so he supposed he couldn't call it pretending) and quickly catch a glimpse of the interior.

It wasn't a butler that answered the door, however. It was a smiling, doe-eyed boy that looked perhaps a few years older than himself, his hair in messy bangs that looked as though they had been self-cut without a mirror. Before Kyungsoo could say a word, the boy pounced on him and dragged him in.

 _He's not Sehun_ , Kyungsoo registered dimly. He didn't know why he knew that, but he was quite certain that the boy with fluffy hair and a girlish face wasn't the one raping Jongin at two in the morning. He couldn't think much, though, for the boy immediately started talking very quickly.

"Hi! Are you lost? Or are you looking for Sehun? He's not here, I'm sorry." The boy flashed a bright smile. "I'm Luhan, by the way. I'm sorry for taking so much of your time, but there's literally  _nothing_  to do and I'm bored to death. I mean, Sehun is in Seoul and- oh god, I must seem so impolite. Sorry."

"I-it's okay." Kyungsoo cursed himself, wishing he didn't get nervous so easily. His hands twisted together and he started to back out again towards the door, deciding not to waste time if Sehun was not even here. But Luhan caught his arm.

"I'm serious, it's okay. Are you looking for directions? You look kinda lost."

His eyes were kind and caring, and Kyungsoo found himself impossibly relaxing. "I'm just looking for... um... directions to Seoul. I suppose it's kind of funny to knock on the door of such a big house to ask such a dumb question-"

"It's really great! I'm going to Seoul too," exclaimed Luhan. "I was planning on driving there tonight because honestly there's nothing to do alone in this house. Sehun's having so much fun over there doing 'business' and I miss him. Do you live there?"

"No, I live in Goyang," said Kyungsoo dumbly, hoping that Luhan would stop the questions there. What was he supposed to say? A normal person would not be out here alone and car-less in this small, out-of-the way town when one could easily take a train from Goyang to Seoul. "I-I don't have a car, though- "

"It's all fine!" Luhan cut in brightly, and Kyungsoo breathed a sigh of relief. "Seriously, come in. I know you probably think I'm crazy for inviting you in, but it's so fucking boring out here alone and I haven't seen anyone my age for two weeks. What do you want? Something to drink?"

Kyungsoo did think it awfully odd that Luhan was pulling him inside after just two minutes of meeting him, but he decided not to question the hospitality, especially if he would have such an easy way of getting away from the strange little town. Perhaps that was just part of Luhan's personality - overly friendly and caring. As Luhan chattered, he let his eyes sweep over the house, trying to correlate it with the hotel he'd lodged in last night - or, rather, the night thirty years into the future-

It was so similar and yet so different that he felt dizzy. The architecture and room structure had not changed an inch, but all the furnishings were different. There was no main counter and stoic receptionist, for one; instead there was a leather couch and a coffee table on which the person who must have been the butler was lounging. Kyungsoo wondered why Luhan had come to answer the door and not him, if the butler was just right there. Luhan lead him down the hallway into the dining room, which Kyungsoo had only briefly glimpsed before, and through the side door into the large veranda that overlooked the grounds and a small lake. The only major difference was the absence of the elevator.

Even though Kyungsoo started to lighten a little at Luhan's sunny cheerfulness, he still felt Kai a round him, floating, fluttering somewhere. He didn't even see the ghost anymore, but his presence was impossible to ignore. He knew that Kai could suddenly bump into him and intrude his thoughts the moment he wanted to, and that fact was enough to keep him tense and nervous.

"Isn't it a nice place?" asked Luhan, snapping Kyungsoo out of his thoughts. "I would never have believed that I'd ever live here, but Sehunnie's just been so kind - really, I don't deserve him at all. I met him in Seoul, you know, back when he was eighteen and I was, um, twenty-three. Age difference, I know, I know. I was his assistant professor in economics. But I guess we just liked each other - I mean, he helped me when my wallet was kind of in a pinch. And now we're dipping our fingers into business together - kind of crazy how times change, right?"

Kyungsoo remained mute, sipping his tea as an excuse for not talking. He didn't really know what to say to Luhan, who didn't seem at all fazed by his silence.

"Sehun's on a business trip right now. We usually live here together, with his parents, but I dunno. I guess he was just bored of them for a while. So he told me to 'keep house' for him until he got back, which is just his way of saying that I could live here as long as I need. So I guess I took him on his offer - but I'm regretting it now. It's just so  _sleepy_  here, and I can't understand anyone's Korean. I'm pretty good, but accents throw me off."

"You're not Korean, right?" Kyungsoo asked. Might as well pretend to be normal and try to have a little fun.

Luhan shook his head. "Chinese, but I've lived here for six years, ever since I've left college. I've studied Korean for a while, though honestly you guys use so many Chinese words it's ridiculous. I know I have an accent, but it's not  _that_  bad, right? Sehun is always teasing Yixing and I don't want him to start on me, too-"

"No, it's not," said Kyungsoo. "You're really good, you don't even have an accent. It took me a while to tell you weren't Korean. And even  _I_  can hardly decipher what people are saying in this town. Everyone's so old."

"Yeah. It's such a change after Seoul. I can get why Sehun hardly even lives here anymore." Luhan leaned back, exhaling heavily. "No noise but cicadas and no smells but tea. I suppose it's nice for old people, but nothing interesting ever happens. Also, I'm going batty after listening to Sehun's parents all day. Sehun doesn't like his parents and neither do I, but I live on a whole separate floor so thankfully I only have to see them at mealtimes. Even that is too much, though."

Kyungsoo nodded. "I guess you're really close with Sehun."

With a laugh, Luhan nodded. "Yeah. A bit too close, you might call it. At least Sehun's parents haven't gotten wind of anything yet, or they'd kick me out for sure. Not that I'd mind too much, though."

Kyungsoo caught his breath.  _He went on to date another boy._  Kai's words rang in his ears, and he thought he could hear him chuckle from somewhere besides him-

"Hey. You good there?" Luhan waved, and Kyungsoo tried to shake his thoughts away. After all, it wasn't Luhan's fault that Sehun killed Jongin; he only happened to be something that happened afterwards. "You're spacing out. You look cute while you do that, though."

Kyungsoo blushed lightly, ducking his head.

"Sorry," Luhan said quickly. "It's just that... I've gotten into such a habit with flirting, really. It just pops out now, even though I try not to for Sehun's sake. Want more tea?"

Shaking his head lightly, Kyungsoo sat back into his chair, letting the cool breeze fan his face and hoping that it would chase away Kai. No such luck. The ghost still lingered around him, suddenly beginning to materialize again; not completely solid, but much more than a cold breeze.

 _I like Luhan,_  said Kai quietly.  _I met him in Seoul, too. He's just so friendly. Sehun introduced me to him, and he kind of wormed his way into our little group of friends; and I don't really mind him dating Sehun; only, he deserves much, much better._

"Earth to... um... this is embarrassing, but I don't know your name yet, sorry..." Luhan called out, laughing.

"Kyungsoo."

"Okay then, Earth to Kyungsoo! Do you want to leave now?" Luhan stood up and stretched, flashing another smile. "Come on, let's start early. Then I'll take you to meet Sehun. I like you, Kyungsoo, don't you know? I know I've been doing most of the talking today, but really, I don't see how anyone could help liking you."

Kyungsoo smiled shyly and followed Luhan back through the dining room and the hallway, thinking about Kai's words. If Kai trusted Luhan, he must be alright; after all, he'd promised to be Kyungsoo's guide and-

_Why do you care so much about a ghost's opinion? After all, isn't he asking you to commit the ultimate crime?_

Kyungsoo didn't bother answering that question.

 

The ride took about an hour, and Luhan chattered all the way there. Kyungsoo found himself opening up to the Chinese boy as they drove, although trying to think of glib answers for the personal questions he was asked was tiring.

He managed to eventually turn the conversation on Luhan, although the problem with this was that Sehun would enter the picture more often than not and Kyungsoo didn't really want to hear too much about him. But he sat there, smiling, taking everything in. Luhan didn't seem to be able to see Kai, and he didn't want him to suspect anything.

At least Luhan's friendliness was able to drive some of the blackness of the situation away. Kyungsoo learned way more about him than he ever expected to learn, and sometimes he wondered if Luhan ever ran out of things to talk about; but he kept going, and eventually Kyungsoo found that he didn't have to be the only one answering questions. He supposed Luhan was just naturally charming. No wonder Kai liked him.

"Where in Seoul do you want to go?" asked Luhan as the skyline of Seoul began to appear over the horizon. "I'm going straight to Sehun's apartment, in Jungnang district. Is there a district you want me to drop you off at or-"

"Just drop me off at a metro station and I-"

"Oh, that won't do!" exclaimed Luhan. "If you want a random metro station, then I'll just take you to Jungnang with me and we can meet Sehun together. Unless you don't want that, of course. Do you have relatives in Seoul or something?"

"N-no-" Kyungsoo felt his mind blank, felt his panic rise. "I- I'm just looking for a job."

Luhan looked at him quizzically, no doubt wondering what Kyungsoo had been doing in a random small town if all he was doing was looking for a  _job_  in Seoul; but he didn't ask questions. No doubt he'd learned that Kyungsoo would only give him a euphemism anyways.  _Stupid, stupid!_  thought Kyungsoo.  _I'd better make up a good story soon for all these questions._

It wasn't long before Luhan's smile reappeared. "Well then, you're in luck! I'm sure Sehun would love to meet you. He's shy, but he's so cute and I swear I am his personal slave. Come on, find a job near us! All our little friends live together in Jungnang and it's so fun. You should come join us for outings sometimes! There's Junmyeon. He's our mom, even though he's younger than me, and he'll buy you anything as long as you come with us. And there's Yixing, he's just the most precious unicorn ever-"

Kyungsoo listened dumbly as Luhan went off on a happy rant about all his friends. His mission was turning out to be easier than he expected, which was not exactly making him feel more at ease. He knew that he would somehow be forced to kill Sehun no matter how much he didn't want to, and the fact that Luhan was drawing him closer with the boy would only make it harder for himself.

"-and there was also Jongin, he used to be Sehun's boyfriend but then he died. I dunno if you've heard of the murder. Maybe you live too far away. It made quite a big stir, but nobody knew what everyone really felt of it. Sehun was devastated, of course; and I was sad, too, though I had never really been as close to him as Sehun was-"

_Tune it out, tune it out._

"I guess there's eight of us in total? I mean, it should be nine, but you know what happened." Luhan's eyes grew soft as he spoke of Jongin, though no tears fell. "But you'll make it nine again! That is, if you decide to stay with us, of course. I don't know your plans."

"I don't really have any plans," said Kyungsoo. "I guess I'm kind of stupid just coming out here alone, but I was just bored of my old life and I wanted to start over. Not the best idea, considering I'm broke and all-"

"I'll lend you money! Or Junmyeon can, perhaps. He's rich, too, and far more generous than little Sehunnie." Luhan giggled. "Come on, live with us. We're still young. You have the opportunity to do crazy things. I'll even help you rent an apartment, as long as you promise to come meet Sehunnie first. I'm really dying to show you my boyf-"

He didn't finish the word, but Kyungsoo understood.

"And I know you're probably thinking I'm off my bat right now, offering all this to you, but I really do like you, Kyungsoo. You don't have to come with us, of course. I bet you have at least some semblance of a plan and this would be just throwing it to the winds. But the offer's always open. Oh, and here we are."

Luhan pulled the car to a stop just outside a very average-looking apartment building - no doubt Sehun was trying to live down-to-earth. Before Kyungsoo could protest or even say that he was intruding upon Luhan's hospitality, he felt himself getting dragged out of the car and inside, just like at the Oh's house.

"Jongdae, Junmyeon and Sehun all live in this building," whispered Luhan. "Yifan and Zitao are buddies; they live in the building next door; and poor Yixing lives alone down the street. But we meet up a lot. C'mon, let's go meet Sehun. He's on the highest floor."

Kyungsoo followed Luhan numbly, the impact of his words suddenly freezing his insides. He was going to meet Sehun. Oh Sehun. Sehunnie. The man who murdered and raped Kim Jongin and whom he was supposed to kill before three months. With all his heart, Kyungsoo wished that he was a horrible person, someone he could loath with a passion and not feel guilty. It was all happening too fast for him to process. He didn't want to meet Sehun; not now, not ever. But Luhan was taking him up now, and it was too late to stop him; he should have done that earlier. He should never have rang the doorbell to the Oh residence. Hell, he should never have chosen the Three Inns hotel in the first place.

Too late, too late. Luhan was ringing the doorbell-

"Lu!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope this chapter wasn't too lame for you guys. tbh this story is going to be full of fluff and friendship despite the ghosts.


	4. Chapter 4

_Why?_

Kyungsoo's head spun with the word as he looked at Sehun, looked at the man he was supposed to hate and kill. No, 'man' wasn't a good word for him. He was a only a boy; a boy that liked bubble tea and fashion and tried to look dark and cool but failed. Sehun _definitely_ wasn't the growling, blond-haired man that Kai had shown him. Hell, even his hair color was different; he'd apparently dyed it brown again and that only furthered his boyish image.

He couldn't kill Sehun. He knew that the moment he'd heard the boy call out "Lu!" He could understand why Kai had loved him, why Luhan loved him now. He couldn't kill Sehun, he couldn't kill him, no matter what Kai asked - but he knew that he would.

And he had only three months!

 _Please, Kai,_  Kyungsoo pleaded inwardly. _Please, please, don't. I don't know who raped and killed you, but it wasn't Sehun. He's innocent, he's innocent, Kai, please. I'll appeal to_ Jongin _, please, please, don't you have some mercy-_

Kai hissed loudly in his ear. _Don't call me Jongin. It's the name that Sehun whispered a million times as he fucked and killed me and I can't stand the sound of it. I'll hurt you if you ever call me that again, I swear on it._  Kyungsoo shivered, more at the fact that Kai was objecting to his name so strongly rather than the fact that he'd threatened to hurt him.

"And who's this?" asked Sehun shyly, and Luhan punched him on the arm playfully.

"Kyungsoo? Kyungsoo, can you hear us? He spaces out so much, he's not ignoring you, Sehunnie, I promise," giggled Luhan. "Oh, and did I forget to mention that his name is Kyungsoo? I met him today when he was looking for directions at your house, and now he's stuck with me."

Kyungsoo remained silent, letting Luhan do all the talking. He didn't want anything to do with Sehun; didn't want to talk to him, listen to him talk, like him. But he'd already failed, for he impossibly found himself beginning to make a nest for the smaller boy in his heart, and he hated it. It wouldn't stop him from trying, though.

"I know this was kinda unexpected, bursting on you today with a stranger under my wing, but I was really dying of boredom and Kyungsoo provided a welcome distraction. He somehow got stranded in our little village while looking for Seoul and I just had to help him, Sehunnie. He's looking for a job around here, aren't you, Soo?"

"I-I guess," stammered Kyungsoo.

"See? He's as shy as you are, Sehunnie! But don't worry, once you open him up he's actually interesting. He's literally death but cuter. He doesn't really have a plan, coming to Seoul, so I was just thinking that maybe we could help him out a little - after all, we need someone to replace Jongin."

Sehun winced visibly at the name but didn't elaborate, which intrigued Kyungsoo. He couldn't tell if the wince was of guilt or of a painful memory that he didn't remember himself having a part of. Luhan seemed completely oblivious of Sehun's pained expression, grabbing Kyungsoo's hand again and pulling him into Sehun's apartment, leaving him with no time to think.

It was certainly a nice apartment, decorated in a style very different from the one of the Oh estate. While that house had been classy, the apartment looked very much like something owned by a twenty-three year old boy without a housewife - messy and colorful. A half-finished bubble tea sat on the kitchen counter and a classy jacket was slung haphazardly over a chair. Everything about it screamed boyishness, and Kyungsoo was having trouble wrapping everything around his mind.

"Yah, Sehunnie!" Luhan was prancing around, completely unaware of the awkwardness. "You need someone to clean up this mess. I leave you alone for three weeks and you give me _this_? How are we supposed entertain a guest?"

Sehun smiled but said nothing, letting Luhan whirl up to him and tousle his hair. "Sehunnie, you mute? Oh god, I just realized I'm stuck between two extremely shy people. What am I supposed to do?"

Kyungsoo rubbed the back of his neck, still unsure of what to say. Kai's murderer was _right in front of him_  and he was just another shy kid with fluffy hair. How would he talk to this apparently very innocent boy when he knew so well what he had done?

"I'mma drink all your bubble tea if you don't say something soon, Sehun-ah," threatened Luhan, laughing. "I'll-"

"Fine!" cried Sehun, playfully exasperated. "Leave bubble tea out of this, if you please. Hi, Kyungthoo. Oh god, I'm lithping again. I only get it when I'm nervouth. Th-sorry."

"I-it's okay," Kyungsoo stammered. Sehun had a _lisp?_  How could it be possible for him to be so cute when he was so dangerous? Kyungsoo tried to push the thought away with a shaky laugh. "I stutter and you lisp. What else is new?"

"Finally!" said Luhan happily. "I knew you guys would like each other if you only got over being so shy. I suppose none of you can help it; but it always means so much work for me. Not that I mind, of course, Sehunnie-ah," he yelped as Sehun hit his shoulder.

"I thought you were the kindest of all of us, Lu-ge," complained Sehun, jutting out his lower lip. "Maybe I've been fooled. Junmyeon-hyung is better now."

"I'll overtake him," vowed Luhan. "I'll buy you so much bubble tea you'll just _have_  to love me the best."

Kyungsoo watch the two of them go back and forth with their teasing, still in a daze. He was dreaming. He must be dreaming. Why was he here, if apparently Sehun had always loved Luhan and they were so happy together and Jongin was but a sad memory? The relationship in front of him was so real, so genuine, it was impossible to imagine Sehun in love with anyone else. Sure, perhaps Jongin was but a good friend, but the way Sehun said Lu-ge... it made the whole vision Kai had shown him seem like a bad dream.

But the moment the thought flitted across his brain, he felt Kai's cold fingers on his shoulder.

 _None of that,_  whispered the ghost darkly. _I assure you that this Sehunnie-ah is the same Oh Sehun who killed me, Kyungsoo. And don't be fooled by Luhan. Sehun loved_ me _first and it should be_ me _who he loves now, despite how kind Luhan is. Open your eyes, Kyungsoo._

The chill shocked Kyungsoo awake and he rubbed his arms, still feeling Kai's presence even though it was gone. Luhan noticed before he could hide anything.

"Soo? Are you okay there? You look cold," he asked, concerned.

Sehun snorted. "It's the middle of June, Lu. How on earth could anyone be cold right now?"

"That's rude, Sehunnie," frowned Luhan, shaking his head. "I thought you had more manners. Don't take him seriously, Kyungsoo. He's a little tick like that to all of us. Yifan is always asking me how I put up with him."

"Hey, it's not my fault hith boyfriend is perfect." Sehun pouted again, which really did make him look too cute. Kyungsoo couldn't stand it. He needed to get Kai out of his brain and fast, before his whole life got warped.

Luhan ignored him, turning back to Kyungsoo. "I'm so sorry, Soo. We're being too rude. It's just that... you know the feeling when you haven't talked to good glory about inside jokes with a best friend in forever, right? I suppose three weeks isn't forever, but still..."

No, Kyungsoo didn't know. He didn't have any friends close enough for him to form inside jokes with. Of course he had _friends_  like any normal person, but they were mostly acquaintances that from school that he'd run across a lot. But he suppressed the sudden feeling of jealousy rising in his throat with a smile. "Boyfriend, you mean."

"You told him?" Sehun yelped. "I thought we agreed to keep it a thecr-secret, Lu!"

Luhan only shrugged. "Kyungsoo's fine with it, I think. I mean, all of our friends know and he's just a new one. If he was homophobic I'd have pushed him out of the car and onto the road on our way here."

Sehun relaxed. "That'th a relief. Sorry about theeming-seeming rude, Kyungsoo. I'm The-Sehun, in case you haven't noticed. Dammit, why do I still have a lithp. It'th fucking annoying."

Kyungsoo laughed inwardly, but then immediately felt guilty. The cute boy in front of him, lisping and swearing in the same sentence - it was too precious. He was liking both Sehun and Luhan - how could he help it? If only he'd been born thirty years earlier so that he could truly be friends with them; if only Kai didn't have to ruin it all with his revenge plan.

He looked at both of them, so happy, so oblivious. He couldn't spoil that perfect happiness, no matter what Kai asked of him. His humanity prevented him from doing that. Even though he had never experienced love himself, he could recognize it when he saw it.

Sehun and Luhan deserved their love, deserved their joy, and he wanted to see them that way. His parents hadn't laughed and joked together like this; and eventually they'd split - how could he even imagine Sehun and Luhan pain? It would kill him to kill them, he knew. He hated Kai now, hated him for his cold, single-minded ways. He couldn't pity him anymore.

_But you don't have a choice..._

The fact that he didn't have a choice made Kyungsoo hate Kai even more.

"Kyungsoo-ssi," called Luhan. "Kyungsoo-ssi, come back to earth. I sometimes think you're from another planet, the way you stare into space like that. Like you're listening to the extra-terrestrial voices of your little friends."

"Yeah, it's creepy," Sehun piped up, taking a sip from his bubble tea.

"Stop being such a twat," Luhan slapped him.

"Admit you love it, Marilyn Monroe."

"And stop calling me that!"

Kyungsoo cleared his throat. "Are all your friends annoying as you guys are?"

He surprised himself. He had never thought that he would find his voice, and that he would say such a thing if he did. It was not the sort of question he would ask even in the most normal situation; and the fact that he was asking it in this bizarre world to a murderer and his boyfriend made the whole thing even crazier. Yet somehow, it seemed perfectly natural at the same time.

Luhan looked surprise as well, though he quickly banished the open mouth off his face. "Nah. Well, actually, yeah. Jongdae is a fucking big prankster, no joke; and Minseok is his accomplice. They're both a little crazy. But Jongdae's quieter now; he still pulls pranks but not as much as he did before Jongin's death. They were best friends, you know."

Jongin again; and again Sehun's little wince. It didn't escape Kyungsoo's eye and again he felt a surge of curiosity. _Does Sehun even know what he's done?_

It vanished even quicker then it did last time, and Sehun was back in his normal pose, trying to suck up the tapioca pearls left after the finished milk tea. "Don't worry, Kyungsoo. If Luhan's annoying you just call me and I'll act cute for him. That usually calms him down, I promith. He's just a little girl."

"I'm not a girl!" Luhan whined. "I just like cute stuff. Is that bad?"

"He's always trying to make us believe he's a manly man," Sehun grinned. "Don't believe him. Like, does he even _look_  like a manly man? Such a flower boy, please."

Luhan punched him, and Sehun made an exaggerated wince, laughing. "He even _punches_  like a girl."

Kyungsoo could stop himself from laughing out loud this time, even though his mind was screaming _wrong, wrong, wrong._  It was a quiet laugh, little more than a smile, but Luhan looked as though he was drinking it up. "Ah, Kyungsoo, opening up are you? Isn't he cute when he laughs, Sehunnie-ah?"

Sehun nodded. "Are you staying here, hyung? You're my hyung, right?"

Suddenly Kyungsoo panicked, as though Sehun had pressed a trigger in his brain; and he found himself unable to answer either of Sehun's questions. _Was he staying here? Was he? Could he stay here and kill the boy in front of him? He couldn't he couldn't he couldn't... he had to go home... Kai was asking too much asking too much asking too much and he couldn't..._

"Kyungsoo-ssi?" asked Luhan, and Kyungsoo suddenly noticed how his knees were shaking and he had unknowingly stumbled back a few steps. "Kyungsoo-ssi, are you okay? Have we scared you or anything? I'm sorry, we don't mean any harm, was Sehun rude again?"

Even Sehun looked concerned, unlike the first time when he had laughed at Kyungsoo for being cold. He hovered behind Luhan anxiously, offering to get a glass of water. Kyungsoo tried hard to pull himself together for their sakes, to not ruin the brightness of the moment. _But what does it matter, when you're going to end up killing one of them in three months anyways? Stupid stupid stupid, just stay away..._

"Sit down," said Luhan kindly, leading Kyungsoo to the couch. "I'm really sorry, Kyungsoo. You don't have to stay if you don't want to. Are you really okay? Do you need any help? Go get water, Sehun, hurry!"

_I'm not okay I'm not okay I'm not okay...  but it's you guys that need help, I want to give you so much help but I can't..._

Sehun was back with the water and Kyungsoo tried to drink, sloshing the liquid over the side of the cup when his hands shook; but after a gulp his heart slowed and he breathed deeply as the momentary panic left him. Kai had not come to visit him, for which he was grateful, and Luhan rubbed his back comfortingly while murmuring words of comfort.

Gradually he stopped shaking and stood up, trying for a smile. "I'm fine now, thanks."

Sehun frowned. "Really? That doesn't look like fine to me. Are you okay, Kyungsoo? Is anything wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Sehun, I promise," lied Kyungsoo easily. "Sorry for making you worried; I just get panic attacks sometimes. And, to answer your second question, I am your hyung. To answer your first... well, I don't really know yet. I'm kind of broke and I have no cash right now, so maybe I'll just end up living on the streets." This time he attempted an easy laugh, but failed miserably.

Sehun's look of concern and suspicion had not left his face, but he didn't press the matter; instead, he tackled Kyungsoo's worries about housing. "That's not a problem, hyung," he said, shrugging. "I'll lend you money, and I'm sure you'll find a job soon. And if my parents, fuck them, don't allow me to give you anything, then I'm sure Junmyeon-hyung will help. He's too generous, really, and _his_  parents don't care what he does with his dollars."

"There's a coffee shop just down the street that's looking for a new hire," added Luhan. "I'm sure they'd take you. Minseok works there and maybe we'll slip a few words in through him, who knows." He winked playfully at this, lightening the mood.

"I-I'm sure I'll like that," sighed Kyungsoo.

"If we're messing up your plans-" began Sehun, but Kyungsoo stopped him.

"I have no plans at all," he confessed, saying the truth for once. "I'm serious."

Luhan smiled. "Then I guess we're settled, somewhat. Is this a bit rushed, Kyungsoo? I get it if you're overwhelmed. Just a small-town guy looking for work in a big city, eh?"

Kyungsoo nodded, relieved that Luhan had found a satisfactory answer to his own question and he didn't have to say anything. He couldn't find any energy inside to fight Luhan and Sehun's hospitality, to push them away. He knew that he should, to lessen the pain, and yet he couldn't. "I'm not pushing it, right?" he asked nervously. "I'd really hate it if-"

"No, I'm serious," said Sehun. "I'll just rent you an apartment for now and- really, Kyungsoo, it's not charity if that's what you're worried about. It's just helping out a friend. Let me call Junmyeon over and we'll coordinate."

Kyungsoo sighed, sitting back down next to Luhan and finishing the water that Sehun had given him. He watched as Sehun made his way over to an old-fashioned cord phone, feeling a sense of dizziness sweep over him. He really was back in time. it was crazy to imagine that Sehun and Luhan had never seen cell phones before, to watch Sehun pressing the buttons casually and picking up the clunky device. Again, the _relentlessness_  of the whole situation came crashing upon him. Reality was a bitch.

Junmyeon wasn't long in picking up. Kyungsoo and Luhan were quiet as they watched Sehun talk. "Myeon-hyung?... Yeah, it's Sehunnie again... I have a favor to ask of you... Lu-ge brought this weird friend of his to Seoul with him and he's broke and practically homeless... it's odd, I know, but just humor me... yeah, you'll come meet him? You'll like him, I promise... love you too, Myeon-hyung."

Sehun put down the phone with a satisfied smile. "He's coming. I think he's excited about having a new kid to mother and waste money on. As if seven wasn't already enough already."

"Don't lie, he spends more of that money on you, Sehunnie, than everyone else," scoffed Luhan. "Which is ironic, as you're the last person that needs extra money. Yixing is complaining that he's treating you better than him, his actual boyfriend."

"He's just my best _friend_ , Lu."

Kyungsoo decided to interrupt them here. "So this guy... er... Junmyeon, I guess... how is he supposed to lend me money? How should I pay it back to him? I'm not staying long, you know... just here to get a feel of things..."

"Of course," said Luhan warmly. "At any rate, I doubt Junmyeon would even notice it if you never returned his money to him. He's like that. Our personal credit card. We don't call him Junmoney for nothing. Sehun, now, is too mean for all that-"

"Hey, it's not my fault!"

"Of course it isn't, Sehunnie."

Kyungsoo sighed morosely, watching the pair go back and forth again. He couldn't imagine something realer than this. He couldn't imagine Sehun ever being with another man. He couldn't watch - and yet he had to. Mixed feelings swirled in his stomach - happiness for the couple, fear for himself, dread at what he had to do, jealousy-

_Jealousy?_

Yes. He was jealous of Sehun and Luhan, of the perfect relationship they had despite the murder. He vaguely wondered if Kai felt jealousy as well, jealous towards Luhan for having Sehun after he'd died. It couldn't be - after all, Kai had definitively pronounced that he hated Sehun. All the same...

Again, the cold wind that made him shiver instinctively. _Jealousy... how cute. You're not jealous of either of them, just of their relationship, yes, Kyungsoo? That's the best kind of jealousy, because you know that you still have a chance of getting that relationship yourself. Now, jealousy of a_ person _... that's a completely different story..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> are these chapters run-ons? anyways the next one will be more interesting, i promise


	5. Chapter 5

Everything was happening too fast for Kyungsoo to handle.

He liked Junmyeon. That was the only thing he didn't have a doubt on. Junmyeon was the type of friend he'd always fantasized about having. Generous, funny, kind... and there was something deep and serious about him that Kyungsoo sensed, behind the bad jokes and the money. If only he could have met Junmyeon under different circumstances. For now, when he looked at the elder, he could only think of how it would kill him if Sehun was dead.

If only... he could apply that to a lot of things. If he had met friends like this while at university, it would have felt like a seventh heaven of luck. And he supposed that now he finally got his wish of friends, but with the added detail of having to hurt them.

For it was easy to tell how murdering Sehun would hurt Junmyeon. He could see the brotherly love shining in his eyes when he hugged Sehun close as he walked in the door, before turning to Kyungsoo to settle his business. He didn't look at Luhan that way. It was like watching a pair of siblings.

"This is Junmyeon, my best friend..."

"I only get the title of 'best friend', Sehun? How rude!"

Kyungsoo had remained mostly mute during the conversation that followed, watching as Sehun, Luhan, and Junmyeon thrashed out the logistics and tried to make him feel welcome, and interjecting as necessary. He wanted badly to creep out of his little corner, but he was afraid to make an impression on them. It was no use trying to make friendships while he was on a mission to murder someone.

And yet, he couldn't stop himself from eventually entering a trivial argument on whether Star Wars or Indiana Jones was better; and as though he had pressed a trigger, he couldn't pull himself back. Junmyeon declared that he would take him house-hunting the next day, and Luhan offered him a place to stay at their apartment until he could buy one of his own.

Kyungsoo accepted.

He knew it was a stupid idea, that he should leave, immediately, no matter how much it hurt his new friends. After all, it would be nothing compared to what was to come, should he stay. But he found himself having _fun_ , at first a grudging, reluctant approval, but now it was as though all the fun he'd never had was coming to him in one great wave.

If only he could stop thinking about _that._

 

"So, I didn't get to chat with you earlier," smiled Junmyeon warmly as Kyungsoo followed him through the street mart, strolling through the dwindling crowd of early evening with arms laden with groceries. What with the long drive and introductions and conversations, the afternoon had sped by and it was past time for dinner when Junmyeon had suggested taking Kyungsoo out to buy groceries.

"It's fine," Kyungsoo shrugged. "I'm so thankful for all of this. It's really unnecessary, you know - I can't believe all this happened, and it's just my first day here-"

"It's probably been crazy," Junmyeon agreed. "I feel like I'm the only one who can see that, out of everyone here. We're just some very impulsive people with some overly big hearts, and once Luhan showed you in I don't think you've got a way out."

Kyungsoo winced slightly at this, but Junmyeon didn't notice.

"You haven't even met all of us yet," Junmyeon went on. "I can't wait for you to meet them all. There's Tao and Fanfan and Jongdae, and Xiumin of course, and Yixing. Isn't it insane, this little gang of ours? Apparently they're all the children of Fanfan and I; at least, that's what they say. I don't understand how Luhan and Xiumin are my children if they're older than me."

Kyungsoo found himself smiling at this. "But then Sehun and Luhan - incest much?"

Junmyeon laughed along with him. "Not just them. You see... Yixing and I kind of have a... um, well, you know."

"It's okay," said Kyungsoo immediately. "I'm not turned off, I promise. After all, Luhan trusted me."

"I can see that," Junmyeon nodded. "There, I'll say it - Yixing and I may or may have not kissed a couple of times. Yeah."

"I see what you mean," Kyungsoo laughed. "I wonder what Yixing is like."

"Oh, he's - he's so - ah!" Junmyeon squealed, hugging his arms to his chest. "I love him - I love him so much. I suppose you saw that I'm very touchy with Sehun... he's my best friend, after all, and I've looked after him for years... but Yixing is different, so different. I can't even describe him - you'll just have to meet him yourself. You'll like him, I promise."

"He's Chinese too, isn't he?"

"Yes. That's why he's a bit slower than us to catch on jokes, but he _does_  get them in the end, and it's always so cute to hear him laughing a minute after it was told," said Junmyeon, chuckling. "Yixing, Fanfan, Luhan and Tao are all from China. We're a very mixed up group."

"Luhan told me about them on the drive here," said Kyungsoo. "Although, he spent most of the time on Sehun, of course. It's a natural bias."

"Not even on Yifan?" Junmyeon asked curiously. "I would think he would. Yifan's been Lu's best friend for ages, before we even got together in this little gang. They had been friends back in China. I guess he's just a bit obsessed with Sehun right now. It's hard to believe that nine months ago Sehun belonged to another man - or boy. I think 'boy' is a better way to describe him."

Kyungsoo stayed silent on this. He did not want to go back to dwelling on Kai, who's presence had just left him. But of course Junmyeon wasn't a ghost and therefore couldn't hear wordless pleading.

"I miss Jong," Junmyeon leaned over, closing the polite distance they'd been maintaining for a little while, the natural distance between acquaintances who weren't quite friends yet. "I must say, I've missed having nine in our band. I guess maybe that's the reason I pulled you in quickly. Jongin was... so... alive. It was as though he didn't know what death was. It's been nine months and I still can't believe he's gone."

He didn't look at Kyungsoo this time. It was clear he was not looking for a reply.

"He was Sehun's boyfriend for a year, but they'd known each other for ages before that. They were childhood friends, you know. I really still have a hard time believing that it's all Sehun and Luhan now. Sehun was so fond of Jongin, they loved each other to the death, but to hear him speak now you'd think Jong never existed; and it's only been nine months. It's all so jarring, and - oh, god, I'm heaping so much on you already, Kyungsoo. I'm sorry. It's just that - I've never been able to talk to anyone about this to anyone. I needed an outlet."

"It-it's okay," Kyungsoo managed to get out. Kai wasn't next to him yet, but he could imagine him there; imagine the ghostly form and chilling fingers and savage voice. Junmyeon seemed to sense his shivering, for before Kyungsoo could say another word he had a comforting arm slung around him.

"No, I really am sorry, Kyungsoo," he said quietly. "Forgive me. Has - has anyone told you about Jongin before this? Or have Luhan and Sehun kept you in the dark?"

Kyungsoo nodded to the former question, not wanting to elaborate. He'd already had the most effective storyteller tell him more than he needed to know about Jongin - more than Junmyeon knew, more than Luhan knew, perhaps even more than Sehun knew.

"I - I just still can't believe that Jjanggu and Jjangah and Monggu don't have an owner anymore," said Junmyeon heavily, turning down the street towards Luhan and Sehun's apartment building. "Jongdae looks after them, even though he's not a huge dog fan. I guess it's just his way of keeping Jongin's memory alive or something. None of us have been the same since Jongin died, but I think he changed the most."

"Where they close?" Kyungsoo asked. _Kai had_ dogs _?!_

"Very," sighed Junmyeon. "After Jongin and Sehun officially became more than best friends, Jongdae took Sehun's place. He was the first person Jongin became friends with after coming to Seoul, after all. He took it so hard, I was afraid he'd die too... and it might have been that way for real if Xiumin wasn't there. Over this past year they've been slowly developing out of the friend zone too... wow, Kyungsoo, I hope we're not too horny for you."

Junmyeon tried to laugh, tried to lighten the mood, but Kyungsoo found it hard to smile. _They've all taken so hard... why does Sehun not care?_

Suddenly, he felt a spike of curiosity. What had happened after Jongin had died? Why had Sehun gone to date Luhan so quickly, apparently forgetting about the boy he'd 'loved to the death'. And then the biggest question of all presented itself to Kyungsoo. _Why had Sehun murdered Jongin?_

The more he pondered, the stranger the situation seemed. It could be that Sehun had just fallen into a drunken rage. Perhaps he had been high, in a drugged stupor, swayed to murder by the streak of insanity that ran in every fifth generation of the family or something. Did Sehun even remember murdering Jongin? Perhaps he thought of his former lover as a friend who'd went away for a long time without telling him.

He found himself lost in thought as Junmyeon switched to lighter subjects, only half-listening as the older went on to talk about apartment prices and social opportunities. None of that was important. All he could think of was how absolutely impossible everything was. Sehun had no purpose to kill Jongin. If he had cause to hate him, at least he'd have given a warning and skipped the fucking, right? And perhaps Jongin's feeling of betrayal stemmed from the fact that Sehun had gone on to date Luhan... but _why_ had Sehun started to date Luhan? 

Knowing that Sehun had killed Kai was not enough. Kyungsoo wanted, craved, _needed_  to know why. He couldn't kill the adorable boy without first convincing himself of his guiltiness. He would ask Kai for answers. And if he didn't get any...

"I won't kill him," Kyungsoo whispered to himself. "I won't. I can't."

 

The apartment was dark, but thankfully not pitch black; Kyungsoo wasn't sure if he could stand any true darkness again after that encounter with Kai. It had the city brightness of Seoul to it, and for once Kyungsoo didn't mind the noise of cars and loud clubbers. It made him feel less alone, less vulnerable as he lay awake long after Luhan and Sehun had gone to sleep... together.

He knew why he was still awake despite the tiring day; there was little room for doubt. Fear. He didn't want to sleep, afraid of nightmares; and yet he was afraid to stay awake, knowing that if there was any time Kai would come out, it was now. So he curled up even tighter under the blankets that Luhan had spread on the couch, clutching a pillow to his chest and silently praying that Kai would stay away.

He tried to focus on positives. On how fun Yixing was. Junmyeon had invited him over for dinner and Yixing had gone straight to the kitchen when he'd arrived, and thus Kyungsoo found that the Chinese boy had a passion for cooking just as he had. On how everyone had exclaimed and praised his bibimbap... "Heaven"... "We'll make you cook for us as payment, Kyungsoo, don't forget that!"... Or how they had all gone out together for bubble tea after dinner, laughing at the sheer cheesiness of Junmyeon's jokes and letting Sehun share sips of their bubble tea when he'd finished his.

Just as he began to relax his breathing and consider going to sleep, Kai's ghostly form began to slowly materialize on the edge of his bed.

"Wha- no!" Kyungsoo yelped, instantly sitting up and scrabbling backwards. "Kai, please, no-"

"Shh, shh, it's okay, Kyungsoo," Kai cooed, but there was still ice in his voice and Kyungsoo knew that there was no love in his soft voice. "I'm only here to have a little talk with you."

"I don't _want_  to talk to you," whispered Kyungsoo desperately. He unwillingly felt himself getting quieter, just as Kai had commanded; again the ghost's power was too strong for him and he bent to his will, unable to call for Sehun or Luhan's help. 

"I'm afraid I have to make some choices for you." Kai's voice was still soft but it was hard and intimidating despite that and Kyungsoo felt cold rushing through his body again. _No... not again... leave me alone, Kai, leave me alone..._

"Junmyeon misses you... Jongdae misses you... think of how they'll break if they knew what you wanted... Jongin, no, for their sakes..."

The name slipped unknowingly from his mouth, but in the next second Kai had his hands wrapped around his throat and was slowly squeezing. Kyungsoo gasped for air and pulled at Kai's hands, but it was useless. Kai held his life in his little finger. If Kai wanted to kill him, that would be that.

"What did I say," whispered Kai menacingly. "What did I say, Kyungsoo?"

Kyungsoo choked, struggling to answer but unable to form words.

"Don't call me that," Kai growled. "I'm not Jongin anymore, I'm not Sehun's fucktoy anymore, I'm not Junmyeon's old friend anymore. _Don't call me that._ "

The hands released him, and Kyungsoo doubled over, coughing. He hoped that Luhan might wake up at this and arrive to chase away his demons, but the house remained silent.

Kai waited until his coughing fit was over, and then resumed talking, his voice again the gentle, but frosty, murmur.

"How do you like Sehun?" he asked.

Kyungsoo only stared at him in fright, his chest heaving and his mind starting to go into overdrive with panic. Kai lay a hand on him; a soft hand, completely unlike the bands of iron that had gripped his throat only minutes earlier. A coolness flowed from his fingertips, and Kyungsoo found his heart slowing, but also his mind falling under Kai's spell.

"Are you liking him?" Kai asked again.

Kyungsoo could only nod. He could not lie. He liked Sehun, and perhaps if he stayed longer he might even learn to love him; and he hated himself for that.

Kai smiled coldly. "I knew you would like him. He's smooth and sweet and I've never met a single person who doesn't like him, even his parents who think he's a disgrace. But he's insane deep down, Kyungsoo. Don't trust him. Don't trust a man who murders his boyfriend one night and dates another man the next."

"I'm sure he's not insane," Kyungsoo pleaded. "There must have been _some_  reason-"

"And can you find it?" mocked Kai.

"No... Kai, please, tell me. Do you _know_  why Sehun killed you? I can't kill him until I know. Tell me. Perhaps he's not to blame... perhaps he was being manipulated..."

Kai scoffed. "Manipulated? Please. Sehun doesn't fall for shit like that. Maybe there's just something in his insanity that delights in breaking others' trust. A sadist, most likely. I'm guessing that he was just drunk and high and he thought that breaking a heart would make a fun night."

Kyungsoo looks at Kai's face, and he doesn't believe him. He's also sure that Kai doesn't believe himself. It's all just a way of dealing with the pain, rather than facing reality. "Really, Kai. Please tell me."

Kai heaved a heavy sigh, but it is one of anger and not of sadness. "I don't know, Kyungsoo. I don't fucking know. The most logical conclusion is that he was just crazy, but he wouldn't kill _me_  and - he just took my all and smashed it on the ground, okay? That's all you need to know."

Kyungsoo can't shake off the feeling that there's something else behind Sehun's murder, but he keeps quiet this time. He doesn't want to anger Kai even more.

"And he _fucking dated another guy_ , Kyungsoo," Kai seethed. "Do you know what it feels like to be cheated, to be wronged in the ultimate way and your stupid boyfriend doesn't even give a shit and pretends you never existed? I wish Luhan was an absolute fucking dick so that I could hate him as well, but then he's there all nice and innocent and smiling with his stupid deer eyes and I can't fucking hate him. It drives me crazy. I don't mind Sehun murdering me half as much as I mind the fact that he's _in the bed with another guy_."

Kyungsoo startled back from this outburst. He's never seen Kai this livid, this heated up, except perhaps when he was talking about his rape. _He is jealous of Luhan_ , he suddenly realizes. _And he throws all that jealous energy on Sehun because he can't hate Luhan. I suppose that's part of the reason why he hates Sehun so much._

Kyungsoo found that he couldn't blame Kai. He'd hate a person who cheated on him too, and there was never a more cheated and used man than Kai. All the same, he still can't find it in him to blame Sehun as he should. There has to be something more. Kyungsoo refuses to believe that Sehun is guilty, no matter how wronged Kai feels.

It's all very confusing.

And then - Kai laughed. His laugh is slower and more horrible than it ever has been and Kyungsoo quaked with fear.

"My death-day is only three months away, Kyungsoo. Maybe it'd be nice to plan a slight surprise for them on it. Something that will make Sehun's death a little more memorable."

"No..." Kyungsoo whimpered.

Kai waved his hand. "Just a speculation. I kinda like it, but I'm not going to elaborate just now until I've thought about it for a little more. I'll check on you again in a bit, Kyungsoo. For now, sleep. I've kept you up long enough."

Kyungsoo only had time to look baffled at this sudden cheeriness before Kai placed his hand on his forehead. Sleep enveloped his being and he rides the wave, drifting off before Kai disappears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh gawd this is late as hell... anyways hilo everyone and I hope you enjoyed all the mommy suho


	6. Chapter 6

"You okay, Kyungsoo?" worried Luhan as they sat down to breakfast together the next morning. "There are bags under your eyes. Is the couch uncomfortable or-"

"It's fine," Kyungsoo repeated. Sehun had asked that question earlier when he had offered to help him in the kitchen. Kyungsoo had declined his offer, preferring to let out all his restlessness and uneasiness alone through pounding eggs and whipping pancake batter.

Of course he should have known that no sleep Kai gave him could be restful. It had been a restless, fitful night, riddled with nightmares of indefinite screaming and flashing red and black with hatred and pain. Kyungsoo had woken up to find himself shaking, ripped apart by emotions he could not handle. He tried to keep it down, to not let it show, but it wasn't working as well as he had hoped.

He let out a sigh of relief when Luhan let the subject drop. "Whatever you say," shrugged the Chinese boy. "Still, do you think you have enough energy for job-hunting today? I wouldn't want to press anything, seeing you had a crazy day yesterday and-"

"No, no, I'll go," Kyungsoo interrupted. He was eager for a distraction, and job-hunting seemed like a good one. "I'll probably just do something in a shitty convenience store or-"

"If a convenience store is all you're aspiring for, we should call Minseok," said Sehun, looking up from the stack he had been cleaving through to talk. "He works at this Seven-Eleven down the street and I bet I could secure something for you in half a day if you want. Does that sound good?"

"I guess," Kyungsoo sighed, looking down as to avert his eyes from Sehun's gaze. After what had happened last night, he didn't feel like talking to the younger boy. He still felt himself trust the boy unconditionally, despite everything Kai said, but there was an added feeling of being on edge, on a teetering fence of uneasiness.

"Kyungsoo, I'm serious," Luhan said suddenly, grabbing his hand. "Is there something bothering you? You seemed so happy last night and now you're back to looking at us like we're strangers. Do you want to leave? Cause we won't stop you if you do-"

"No, I don't  _want_  to leave." Kyungsoo stressed the 'want' slightly, but no one noticed. "It's just that... damn it all, I can't tell you so it doesn't matter!"

"Tell us what?" asked Sehun curiously. His tilted head and wide eyes only made him look more innocent and Kyungsoo felt his heart squeeze.

"...do you really want to know?" he found himself asking. "No. You won't want to know. It will only hurt you."

Luhand and Sehun looked at each other confusedly, and Kyungsoo didn't blame them.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You shouldn't have taken me in. I'm a mistake, I'll only hurt you, just send me out now-"

He was muttering, the words running together and almost incoherent, but still Luhan managed to catch them. "Don't say that, Kyungsoo. Seriously. You're not a mistake, you're not- shit, really, you have to tell us if something's wrong. You seemed so happy yesterday and now I don't know what to do-"

Kyungsoo pulled away from Luhan, trying to take deep breaths. He had to stay calm, he couldn't have them know. There had to be some way to save them, some way to prevent Kai's revenge plan from happening. But he didn't know how.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," he sighed, doing his best to maintain a steady voice. "Seriously, don't worry about me, guys. I... um... get anxiety sometimes."

It was a lie. Despite his worryings over ghosts, he had never been one to have panic issues. Kyungsoo hoped that Luhan and Sehun wouldn't notice, that they would remember the time when he had freaked out in a similar way the day before; but he caught them glancing at each other with suspicious looks in their eyes, and he knew that they didn't quite believe him.

"Do you want to talk about something else?" Sehun finally asked. "Luhan can be an ass sometimes, sorry."

"It's nothing," Kyungsoo muttered. "So... when should we go meet this Minseok guy?"

"So you really are serious," smiled Luhan, although his cheeriness felt slightly forced. "Well, we can run over after breakfast and have a little chat with him, and maybe he'll pass on a word or something to his boss. But you know, Kyungsoo, a position at a convenience store counter won't really be well-paying, and it might get boring at times. At least, that's what Minseok always complains to us."

Kyungsoo shrugged. "It will be a good starting point, I guess."

He meant more than that. He wanted to get a job fast, so he could stay away from Luhan and Sehun and not start to care for them even more. He supposed he could just run away, and yet he couldn't. Kai. Kai was bounding him here, with an invisible yet impervious force.

Sehun pushed back his chair. "Well, I'm finished. The two of you better hurry up if we want to get you a job by the end of the day.

 

They met Minseok in a tiny coffee house, apparently the chubby-cheeked boy's favorite destination. At first glance, Minseok seemed like a squishy teddy bear, with his round eyes, gummy smile, and fluffy hair. Kyungsoo could hardly believe that he was in fact 'the oldest of our gang'. He looked as young as Sehun.

Minseok was stirring his coffee thoughtfully, trying to determine the best amount of cream and sugar for his cup. He tasted it for the fifth time and made his fifth face. "Ugh. Still not right. The coffee isn't rich enough today; I think their employee change was a bad choice."

"I am eagerly awaiting the opening of your new cafe, Mr. Barista," laughed Luhan. "When is it coming out? Your decafs will be a hit!"

Minseok heaved a long sigh. "I'll never get anywhere, working in that Seven-Eleven. I'm afraid to ask more money of you guys, and even with what you give me it's hard enough to pay the rent. Sorry, Luhan, but you might have to wait an eternity - I'll never pull myself out of this hole."

"Anyways, you know how to work the milk at least," commented Sehun, sipping his cup. "I personally can't taste the blandness of the coffee, maybe because you added a gallon of cream."

Kyungsoo gripped his coffee cup tightly in his hands and said nothing. He couldn't feel Kai, which was a blessing, but he didn't want to get more involved in this than he had to. He just wanted to get a job and leave, not give his heart to a new person that he would end up hurting. And it wasn't working. How could he think so much of these near-strangers just a day after he met them?

"What do you think, Kyungsoo?" Minseok cut into his thoughts. "Is it a god-awful cup or a heavenly one?"

"I've never been a coffee connoisseur," Kyungsoo shrugged. "I drank it to keep myself awake at night when I need to study."

"Pshaw," Minseok scoffed. "Coffee is more than that. It's a hobby. It's a fucking  _art._  We make coffee at Seven-Eleven but they have never brought good beans and it pisses me off, because good beans are the staple to a good coffee. Maybe if they were a little better about their choices working there wouldn't be so boring."

"Passion," remarked Luhan, and they all burst into laughter.

"Speaking of your job at that Seven-Eleven you hate so much," began Sehun, "we were thinking of letting Kyungsoo help you there a bit. He's new to Seoul, as we've already told you, and he's kinda desperate for a job."

"You serious you want a job at that shithole?" Minseok was still laughing, and there was no denying that he was unbelievably cute when he laughed. "It's for people at rock-bottom.  _I'm_  there because no one wants to hire a high school dropout that was bumped off by their parents. What about you?"

Kyungsoo's mind raced. He had formed some semblance of a story on the way to the cafe, just in case Minseok asked any questions, but it had suddenly fled his mind. He had always been a bad liar. "I- um, I w-was too broke to continue college so-"

Minseok nodded placidly. Kyungsoo fell back, groaning at himself. Surely that gave it away. There was no way everyone could have missed the fakeness of his statement. Though, to be sure, he was getting broke in college; but the reason why he was  _here_  specifically was completely different.

But either they didn't see his nervousness or they simply ignored it. Kyungsoo wondered why they never pressed any questions on him or demanded for something more solid than his vague answers and stuttering, yet he was infinitely grateful for it. He didn't know how to say anything about himself without somehow mentioning Kai in the process.

"We're all a couple of penniless kids, I guess," Minseok was grinning. "I mean, just the two of us. And then we have to deal with the snotty rich brats sitting next to us."

"Hey, I'm technically broke too," protested Luhan. "Legally speaking, I probably have fewer dollars than you do in the bank, Minseok. It's just that Sehun's being nice to me these days."

"In other words, you're living off his charity," retorted Minseok bitingly. "How's  _your_  bank balance, Kyungsoo?"

"Um..." There was absolutely no way he could reply to this question. How could one have a bank account if one simply did not exist? Kyungsoo decided to reference his actual bank balance - at least, the one he was to have thirty years later. "I'm not in debt yet, but just barely not. It's hardly enough money to keep gas in my car."

The moment he said that, he knew he'd fucked up. Luhan turned to him.

"You have a car?" he asked. "Did you not drive it to Seoul?"

Kyungsoo gulped. "No. I-I... it's actually my parent's car, I guess. I left it with them in Goyang when I came to Seoul."

"Have I ever told you how I came to meet Kyungsoo," Luhan asked Minseok. "It's kind of an odd story, for such a squishy pie."

Kyungsoo's ears colored at 'squishy pie', and then proceeded to turn cold at the story Luhan told. There was nothing malicious behind it, but the way it came from Luhan's mouth it did sound strange. How did Kyungsoo even get to that small, completely random village without a car? What had he been planning to do?

The more he listened, the more he realized that he was a mistake, that he should have never happened to Luhan and Sehun's lives. And Xiumin's. He could see how the older boy cared for Sehun, although there was sometimes a look in his eyes that Kyungsoo couldn't decipher.

Perhaps it had something to do with the way he looked at Luhan. Kyungsoo could see  _that_  clearly enough, subtle as it was. There was a soft light in Minseok's eyes whenever he looked at Luhan, a sad sort of affection that he couldn't hide. Kyungsoo wasn't jumping to conclusions, but perhaps Xiumin thought of Luhan in a way that went slightly beyond friendship...

No. He wouldn't be entertaining any thoughts that were of no use to everyone. They were friends. Nothing more. And even if Xiumin wanted more... he would never get it, anyway, the way Luhan was staring at Sehun.

_No._

"Hmm," Xiumin hummed, draining his coffee cup. "I'm sure you're overthinking it, Luhan. He probably just got off at the wrong train stop or something. I really don't know. And, if you must know, I'm feeling rather pressed for time right now. My shift is starting in just twenty minutes and you know how my boss likes me to be early."

"So do you think you can secure Kyungsoo a job?" asked Sehun. "Should we come with you to inquire?"

Xiumin shook his head. "No need. My boss is pretty easy-going when it comes to hiring. I'll just give him the word today and maybe I'll call you later to schedule an interview or something. But it's nothing big, like an office job. If you're looking for a high-class position that fits your outstanding academic background or whatever, I'm afraid you won't find that here."

"I'm not looking for anything," Kyungsoo said again. "I... I really don't know what I'm doing."

Sehun moved forward and slung his arm over his shoulder. "You'll get used to it in a week, hyung. No worries."

His arm was warm and comforting and familiar and - fuck, he didn't deserve this, he didn't deserve any of this.

 

Kyungsoo did find some luck. After running in for an informal interview in the afternoon, he had secured a job at the Seven-Eleven with Minseok's help. Kai hadn't bothered him that night and the sun was even shining as Kyungsoo walked to his first day of work.

He found that his mood was a very temperamental thing nowadays. One moment life was tolerable and he had hope that perhaps the situation he was stuck in wouldn't be too bad; the next moment it was all he could do from letting his inner hurricane of guilt and hatred and fear from spilling out.

Kai. What had Kai done to him? Kyungsoo had always believed in ghosts, at least in some subconscious part of his brain, but he had never asked for a literal ghost to come and destroy his life. In a way, Kai was punishing him too; punishing him for something he had never done. To kill a fellow human being, especially one that seemed so beautiful and innocent - wasn't that punishment enough?

Kyungsoo didn't hate Kai, which made life harder. He sympathized with the ghost - and thus, he never knew what to feel. His thoughts and emotions were a mess nowadays, a tangle that he had never had to encounter before. The only feeling he could be sure of was fear - he had never felt so afraid, and it wasn't even for his own life.

 _I think too much these days_ , thought Kyungsoo, and smiled because that in itself was a new thought. It was inevitable. The new, conflicting thoughts flooded him. They never left him alone.  _What? Why? How?_  He wanted an explanation so bad, but he knew he would never get one.

"Mr. Do. Mr. Do, are you hearing me?" demanded the manager of the store, a middle-aged man with a large mustache and a droning voice named Mr. Hwang. Kyungsoo supposed that it had been the voice that had lulled him into this period of thought, of which he was only brought out by a loud snapping of fingers in front of his nose. "Mr. Kim, do you remember what I told you?"

"Smile at customers... count change carefully... all such and such," Kyungsoo sighed. "I get it. You told me all this yesterday."

"I shall be judging your service," said Mr. Hwang, but Kyungsoo didn't really take that too seriously. According to Minseok, Mr. Hwang was actually a pretty lax boss who put up a show of carefully grooming his store when in reality he spent most of his time in the back of the store drinking soju. Kyungsoo felt happy that he had been put on the same shift as Minseok. Although of course he had only known him for a day, he felt more comfortable than should it have been a complete stranger.

"I'll make sure to do my best," Kyungsoo answered, bowing. He hurried to the counter, to find Minseok already serving a customer who had turned up to buy instant noodles. At least instant noodles had transcended the generations.

Kyungsoo felt slightly nervous as he took his place behind the counter. He had never worked in a job before and he felt nervous around strangers. He hoped he would sound professional, and yet he was afraid to sound forced. He wondered what kind of tone he should use for customers, and what he should do if the cash register jammed.

"Don't worry too much," said Minseok after he had seen the customer out with a cheery good-bye. "I see you're worried; everyone is at first. Here, you can watch me for a while. Old Mr. Hwang has given you the briefing, yeah?"

They kept up a stream of small talk in between customers. Kyungsoo served twice; both times he was a nervous wreck, stuttering, adding extra charges and forgetting actual ones. But Minseok rubbed his shoulders, assured him it was just starting jitters, and they went back to whatever they had been talking about before.

Eventually the topic swung over to 'the gang' once again.

"You really need to meet Zitao and Yifan soon," Minseok smiled. "Tao's the cutest thing, no lie. He and Sehun are our adorable maknaes forever. I feel like they have a running competition to be the most cute. And then Yifan is just standing over Tao like some father-slash-boyfriend giant hybrid and... really, they have the cutest relationship. Yifan acts cold to all of us but whenever it comes to Tao his wallet is limitless."

Kyungsoo laughed. "I'm excited to see that. Seems like I've never had any real friends that I can speak of."

"Well, you'll have plenty now," assured Minseok. "I'm rather the same. I didn't talk much when I was younger, because I was fat and ugly and nobody really wanted to associate with me. But after my teenage years I opened up a lot more. Being thinner helped, and so did summer and demonstration parades."

"I can't believe that I'm just being given all these new friends all at once," Kyungsoo confessed. "It's overwhelming. I've completely forgotten how to have friends and suddenly I just... have them? It's so crazy."

"I kind of rode off others' backs, too, if that makes you feel better. I met them all through Luhan," said Minseok, his eyes staring into space wistfully as he leaned on the countertop. "We played soccer together when he'd first come to Korea. Man, that must have been at least seven years ago... it seems crazy whenever I think about it. He's changed."

"Luhan, you mean?" asked Kyungsoo.

Minseok nodded. "It's almost impossible to explain. On the outside, he's the same old happy-go-lucky kid who wants us all to believe he's manly and shit. You would never think he'd changed if you weren't really close to him. It's something inside."

"I see," said Kyungsoo understandingly. "How do you think he's changed?"

"Back then, Luhan was never so...  _deep_ , so to speak," said Minseok. "There were fewer layers to him. He was kind, he was cute - that was about it. And... he wasn't obsessed with Sehun. They have such a cute relationship, but it's all half obsession. Luhan was crazy over Sehun, especially in that year that Sehun was dating Jongin... oh, right, did you know about that?"

Kyungsoo only nodded silently.

"Yeah. I had a lot of consoling to do that year. Luhan was quite jealous of Jongin. Of course, I never saw anything unhealthy about it; I think everyone's gone through that stage some time in life. The only difference between Luhan and everyone else is that, well, he got lucky."

Kyungsoo stared at Minseok for a moment, trying to read him. There was a look of longing in his eyes as he gazed out the window. He thought back to the look he had seen in Minseok's eyes yesterday as the older boy had watched Luhan, and there was something very similar about the two gazes.

Suddenly, Kyungsoo felt the chilling breath on his neck once again, and he shivered on reflex, goosebumps popping up on his arm.  _Kai. Kai. Why won't you leave me alone?_

Kai didn't reply to this. Meanwhile, Minseok was falling out of his trance, turning his eyes towards Kyungsoo just in time to catch his shiver.

"Are you cold, Kyungsoo?" he asked. "Is there a draft anywhere?"

Kyungsoo shook his head. "Nah. It's at least thirty-five degrees outside, why the heck would I be cold? I probably got a chill from being too hot."

"You look a little disoriented, all the same," said Minseok. "I guess the heat's making everyone dizzy."

"I'm fine, I swear," Kyungsoo insisted. "I didn't know you were such a mom, Minseok."

"I'm not!" Minseok objected. "Haven't you already met Junmyeon? The title of 'mother' officially belongs to him. You should know that!"

In the corner of his ear, Kyungsoo could hear Kai laughing.  _Junmyeon is still the mom, after all,_  came the voice.  _We used to joke that there was so much incest in his family._

 _What are you doing here, Kai?_  Kyungsoo couldn't help but ask. Thankfully for him, Minseok had turned away to help a customer.

 _Just wanted to check on dear Minseok,_  Kai replied.  _I'm just visiting all my old friends through you, Kyungsoo. Didn't I say that I would be your guide? Let me guide you around all my old buddies. You know Luhan, you know Junmyeon... I guess Minseok's next, eh?_

Kyungsoo let the ghost continue with his little monologue. Even though Kai's presence gave him his usual feeling of cold fear, he had to admit that the ghost could make some pretty interesting stories. And his voice... it would have been perfect for seducing girls - or perhaps men - on a bed.

 _You know what I've always wished, Kyungsoo?_ Kai was saying. _I wished Minseok and Luhan would get together. They'd be perfect. Minseok cares an awful lot for Luhan - any damn fool can see that. Luhan just takes him for granted. I guess the best friends always are._

 _Isn't there another reason?_  Kyungsoo almost didn't want to think this, but of course Kai could hear every single thing he thought.

 _How perceptive you are._  Again the horrible, icy laugh.  _Yes. If Minseok and Luhan had gotten together, then Sehun would still be_ mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back herro


End file.
